Homework

Dammit.
Homework so damn many.Haven't even touched any of them yet.Ugh.*rolls eyes
November's ending..Soon December will start.
Man..
I guess I should start workin' on 'em real soon,huh?

I miss my friends..(TT^TT)
Didn't think holidays could be any lonelier.Well,Onee-san and I..aren't in good terms right now..More like,from now on.
Can't believe I was so goddamn enthusiastic when she came home.I thought,when she's home,we could talk and solve the friggin' problem so that we'd go back to normal.
Newsflash! I WAS WRONG.
The one that came home wasn't my sister.
Or at least,the one that I loved.The one that would always put this family first before anyone else.The one that cared.

 I used to be so freakin' scared of her,when I was little.
When we were good and perfectly comfortable with each other,I grew less and less afraid of her.
Then after she came back,I was terrified of her.
Tho she thinks I'm not 'cause I disobey her sometimes but frankly,I'm just good with hiding my feelings.
I don't show it anymore like when I was a kid.
But everytime I tried to talk to her about it,my feelings pour and I could barely contain any of it."Old habits die hard",they say.

 She built a wall between us.
Her and this family.Her and me.Her and everyone else.
I don't know why she did that.
When I pulled my insignificant courage out to tell her how much she had..changed,she said she couldn't bear to see any tears.
And I was already leaking.
After she stormed out of the room,I ran to the bathroom and bawled my eyes out.SERIOUSLY bawled my eyes out.
Maybe because I had finally begun to accept..That this person..Is not my sister..
I saw it coming,y'noe..But I just couldn't,wouldn't accept it.
I tried to talk.Tried to act as naturally as we used to be.Alas,all for nothing.

 Well..Nonetheless,I would still love her.
I've cried for and because of her countless of times,without her knowing,of course.
I vowed to myself that no matter how much she changed,I would still love her unconditionally as I did before this.
Of course,it's easier said than done and I'm awfully sure that lots of tears are coming in that path so...I'm gonna need support..

 Okay..
Umm...I'm gonna watch some funny CrissColfer shows to cheer me up.

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