Reasons

January is ending.I'm still on driving lessons and by now,I think I'll get my SPM results first before I get my driver's license.God,the waiting! *groans*
All through the days during my freedom period,I've not liked getting out of house,literally.There are obvious reasons,such as how reluctant I am to put a foot out of the house's compound unless necessary like the driving lessons of which I had to accept that I had to get out of house to attend and I don't like meeting people.

Some people don't like reasons.They do things just because.Sometimes I do that too.Do things just because,though most of the time I have reasons for them.Even if I don't,well,I could always create one.

The less obvious reason I hate getting out of house is that I'm ashamed of myself.Of course,it's not like anyone's likely to ask and I'm ever so grateful for that.I'm very self-conscious for my age,tho I suppose it's normal...I am 18 after all though not entirely so yet.I know I don't have to compare myself to other people but it's not like I can help it when it's my own sister.
She's so pretty and even when I know that the outside's not everything I can't help looking,you know?
No wonder I hate looking at myself in the mirror so much.I tend to avoid mirrors when I'm outside.I wish I could do everything from the inside of my house,never having to meet people and the society.

Books make me feel safe.They make me think and make me realise things that most people would have rather to ignore.Insecurities,priorities,laws,and so much more.Onee-san came home with more books and I'm happy because I had ran out of books to read.Not to mention the new lappy she brought home for Dad but he said to give it to me so yeah I have a new lappy now and I'm totally over the moon.and back.probably.
She thinks it's a 'she' so I should probably give her a new name.Sasori.I like Sasori.Sasori would be good.
Considering that the PC's audio is dead thanks to that dumb little shit of an asshole,it's an extra relief to have Sasori home with me now.Of course,I can't keep obssessing with her all the time.I have a proper time management,courtesy of good upbringing and excellent teaching.I only play with her when I have nothing to do and when I've finished/in the middle of at least one book.

I just finished The Declaration by Gemma Malley.

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