not enough

Sometimes, I get so scared that I won't ever be enough for someone.
That I won't be enough for them to stay.
That I will never be enough to love.

 I'm not pretty, I know that.
On the physical side, there's nothing much I can give.
My scale just tips better on the personality because my mental is worse than my physique.

 Beauty and brain goes to Onee-san while I just survive.
I'm just grateful for every morning I open my eyes, even when I wake up bloodied and more scars than before. I just try to survive the day and hope to last another night. Nothing more.

 I realize I do avoid the fact of my inadequacy.
I hate looking in the mirror.
I try to take pictures instead of being taken.

 I am strong because of my weaknesses.
I survive because I am wired for it.

 To the future person who will love me,
if you do exist,
know that I am not perfect.
I have nothing much to give, except my dreams and demons.
I'm not pretty to look at, both physique and mind.
my only deeming quality is that I will love you just as much as you love me.
maybe more.
who knows?

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