I Found You, Irene.

This one is a happy one.

I know there're more sad, angry, and angst posts in here more than I like to admit, but there are the occasional fun ones, laughing ones, good ones, and overall happy ones. Those of which I normally include or dedicate to a person I love, and we all know how jealously and paranoidly I guard them, don't we?

Well, this one has a specific name on the title of the post, so in case you suddenly developed temporary amnesia, this one is dedicated to Irene. It's purely coincidental that I feel the need to write this soon after a post to Amelia, FYI. Okay? Okay.

So, Irene. 

It's no secret that she and I first met in second term during Foundation, via Mya. They live close together, enough that should they decide to meet up, they can. Unlike me who lives a couple of states away. It's funny to think that both of my bestfriends are Kedahan though, considering I have a really bad image of Kedahan people ever since one broke my sis's heart. I'm not saying I hate Kedahan people, but that dude inspired a black tar of soiled hatred in my core in which I strongly feel the need to hold myself back from committing first-degree murder. No joke.

The only reason I restrained was because Sis told me not to.

Irene and I are similar in the sense of interests such as coffees, introverts, and books. 

We both love mangas and animes, but her type is closer to Mya's than mine, as does her choice in songs. Those three things are what the both of them share together.

Whenever they talk about the latest shoujo mangas or animes or k-pop songs, I'd just look at them and inwardly smile fondly because while I have no interest in their conversation (and they don't mind that I don't), I like to see them smile and laugh and talk passionately about the things they love and share. I miss those.

When I first met Irene, I was quite apprehensive, as I do all strangers. All I knew of her was that she is a friend of Mya and they have been together since highschool. Admittedly, I first thought that she and I wouldn't go along very well because both of us are quiet people. 

But then, I was quite interested in how she resonates with Mya, and vice versa.

Because I saw that Mya does not wear her masks in Irene's presence. Or at least, as much as she tends to. So this intrigued me. This person who Amelia feels no need to put up as much layers as she use to. Yes, quite intrigued indeed.

Of course, it wasn't my intention that I automatically psycho-analyze people on the first look, it's just that, I see what my mind allows me to see, and I can't help to note of it. I think it's called, first impressions? Something like that.

Gradually, the three of us spent more and more time together as a trio rather than the usual me and Mya. I grew fond of her. Mya and I have the same way of thinking, and sometimes, the direct opposite. This causes furious numbers of debate and arguments and long, heated conversations. Irene became our witness, judge, and jury.

I was hiding my face because I was exhausted and near close to a breakdown, just wanting for the day to be over and go back to my bed. I'd borrowed the hoodie from my roommate, and I remember how sluggishly I leaned towards her, soft and comfortable.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because I found Irene's blog today. I began to read her posts, from the beginning to the end, and one post caught my eye, since I saw my name and Mya's in it. Our real names, that is. For me, I don't like putting real life names in my posts because I'd like for the person I mention to keep their anonymity, for privacy's intentions. Yet reading mine and Amelia's real name in a post of someone we both treasure and love somehow makes me feel.......well, real. I don't mind it, not at all.

The title is "My Replies to You", posted on a Wednesday, 3rd Feb 2016.

The post is dedicated to us, Mya and I.

It's a short one, but by the end of it, I find myself blinking back tears.

Happy tears.

And, dare I say it, moved tears.

I know that sometimes, people around me cared for me or at least they try to, and fail.

I know that they will tire of my assholishness and fuckery, and leave.

Eventually, I expect them to.

But no one, nobody, has ever gone to the extent of these two in my life.

Never.

Not ever.

I flipped back to my old posts that has Amelia and Irene tags. The moments they, unprovoked, proved their affections to me over and over and over again. The moments they took it upon themselves to care for me, far and beyond anyone ever needed to.

I continuously ask myself, how in the all for the love that is holy that I ever manage to deserve them in my life? Mya once answered, because they love me. And how could I ever doubt that? What kind of blumbing mindless fucked up soiled zombie would doubt that?

Remember when Irene told my sister to look out for me at home, because she was concerned that both of them won't be there for me? Remember when Irene sat on the edge of my bed, consoling me to eat during my binge-sleep fiasco and leaving food on my table every now and then? Remember when Irene would let me sprawl all over her and have her pet my hair till her legs go numb? Remember?

Now I get to know her even more.

And by God am I so ecstatic for that.

Because I want to repay her in kind. I want to be familiar with her fears, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. More than what I've already known. The daily struggles she faces in her life. With Amelia, there's little confusion of our connection, for we think the same and opposite. But with Irene, our minds are different, as per our struggles and insecurities.

I want to work on that.

In a trio, you'd think there'll always be one person who feels left out. In this one, I hope not.

Amelia knows Irene better, of course, since she knows her first and the longest, and I don't mean for this to be a competition. There's never been one between the three of us.

Mind you, I'm not doing it out of sense of obligation. None of that bullshit, yeah.

I just....God, I love them so much, okay. 

This type of friendship? I'd die before I lose them.

This beautiful, amazing person who cares for me more than I deserved. We won't let go, Irene, I swear.
We've had enough of backstabbing bitches, right? All three of us.
For as long you want us, we're here.
Just as I vowed to Amelia, shall I vow the same to you.
Thank you.
We love you.