Among the Normals
Olas.
So, about that last post, I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. In here, I do that sometimes. Write about things of the past and what has happened since. It's not that I think about it all the time because that would've been unhealthy and it'll be like I'm holding on to the past that which have already gone and I wouldn't have been able to do anything to change it. It's like I said, sometimes, I have bad days.
Of course, it led me to reminisce those things but other than feeling depressed for a couple of hours and crying myself to sleep, it was nothing a few tears can't fix.
I ended up reading angsty Stony fics at the end of the day anyway.
It's more like I need to remind myself of what has happened, so that I could reflect on it, and see my progress from then on. Yes, I was sad, irrevocably so, but I was sad for the past me. Reading my notes, I was sad for her, that she had to go on with so little faith.
What she had to endure, and what she had to do to survive.
I cried for her, the pain and suffering that she had gone through.
And then I looked at myself, and I am content.
I thank her, because if she hadn't pull through, I wouldn't still be alive, here and now.
I thank God for the strength I was given, and I thank Amelia for the safety line she had thrown.
Coming back to the present, I just got my college acceptance news from the student online page! Yayyy~ Thank God for that. Guess I'll search around for houses another year.
Final's result will come out on this 12th so that's that. God, I'm so freakin nervous as all hell. Thinking back, I did have a couple of classmates that I kinda don't mind hanging around with. They're the ones I went to the cinema with and just sorta hang out at random intervals.
Hanging out at the movies were fun and being among the normals again, I know they just see me as this freaky, weird person who's just weird as all balls and having fun with it.
It's alright though. I like being weird.
For every time they say "God, you're so weird" or give me the patented "you're so weird like what even are you", I just smile widely with my teeth all showing, purposely being the little shit that I am and loving every moment of it.
Because if they minded my weirdness, they wouldn't hang out with me in the first place.
Over time, some would just get used to it, and some never will.
When I say or do something weird and they just go, "ah there we go, yup, that's her alright", that's when you know you've been hanging around me too much to even know what's normal and what's not anymore.
There are others who hung around, but never seeming to get the hang of my weirdness and gives me the patented look every time. That may or may not grow annoying in the long run for me, though I suppose if they couldn't handle it, they won't be hanging around very long.
It's not an act in public, if that's what you're thinking. I act just the same with my family.
I mean, Mom literally introduces me - albeit with a joking tone as to not alarm the people she's introducing me to but we all know the truth - as the weird one of the bunch to anyone who asks, recently during EidulFitr, considering it was the season of nosy, unknown relatives whom you don't recognize and don't recognize you either.
I respond the same way, which is smiling wildly with all my teeth and gums showing.
I look like a feral and diseased, rabid squirrel and I know it.
That's how it is when I'm not with Amelia and/or Irene.
Because with them, my weirdness is not weird.
My weirdness is normal, and to them, I am as weird as they are, and we accept that of each other. Sure, we have differences. I like horror and gore and psychotic dark shit too much to be considered sane and Amelia likes what she likes (I'm not sure I should be disclosing her favors in here) and Irene just puts up with us because she likes us.
That only means we get more protective of her, though.
Being among the normals in PALAM, I am the weird one.
And that's alright, because I like it. I'm not changing it for the sakes of others' pleasure. Unless I'm directly hurting anyone, I don't see a reason for me to stop being 'me'.
So, with that in mind, there's only 3 weeks left till I pack up for next semester.
Whoop. Better start soaking up all that free time!
So, about that last post, I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. In here, I do that sometimes. Write about things of the past and what has happened since. It's not that I think about it all the time because that would've been unhealthy and it'll be like I'm holding on to the past that which have already gone and I wouldn't have been able to do anything to change it. It's like I said, sometimes, I have bad days.
Of course, it led me to reminisce those things but other than feeling depressed for a couple of hours and crying myself to sleep, it was nothing a few tears can't fix.
I ended up reading angsty Stony fics at the end of the day anyway.
It's more like I need to remind myself of what has happened, so that I could reflect on it, and see my progress from then on. Yes, I was sad, irrevocably so, but I was sad for the past me. Reading my notes, I was sad for her, that she had to go on with so little faith.
What she had to endure, and what she had to do to survive.
I cried for her, the pain and suffering that she had gone through.
And then I looked at myself, and I am content.
I thank her, because if she hadn't pull through, I wouldn't still be alive, here and now.
I thank God for the strength I was given, and I thank Amelia for the safety line she had thrown.
Coming back to the present, I just got my college acceptance news from the student online page! Yayyy~ Thank God for that. Guess I'll search around for houses another year.
Final's result will come out on this 12th so that's that. God, I'm so freakin nervous as all hell. Thinking back, I did have a couple of classmates that I kinda don't mind hanging around with. They're the ones I went to the cinema with and just sorta hang out at random intervals.
Hanging out at the movies were fun and being among the normals again, I know they just see me as this freaky, weird person who's just weird as all balls and having fun with it.
It's alright though. I like being weird.
For every time they say "God, you're so weird" or give me the patented "you're so weird like what even are you", I just smile widely with my teeth all showing, purposely being the little shit that I am and loving every moment of it.
Because if they minded my weirdness, they wouldn't hang out with me in the first place.
Over time, some would just get used to it, and some never will.
When I say or do something weird and they just go, "ah there we go, yup, that's her alright", that's when you know you've been hanging around me too much to even know what's normal and what's not anymore.
There are others who hung around, but never seeming to get the hang of my weirdness and gives me the patented look every time. That may or may not grow annoying in the long run for me, though I suppose if they couldn't handle it, they won't be hanging around very long.
It's not an act in public, if that's what you're thinking. I act just the same with my family.
I mean, Mom literally introduces me - albeit with a joking tone as to not alarm the people she's introducing me to but we all know the truth - as the weird one of the bunch to anyone who asks, recently during EidulFitr, considering it was the season of nosy, unknown relatives whom you don't recognize and don't recognize you either.
I respond the same way, which is smiling wildly with all my teeth and gums showing.
I look like a feral and diseased, rabid squirrel and I know it.
That's how it is when I'm not with Amelia and/or Irene.
Because with them, my weirdness is not weird.
My weirdness is normal, and to them, I am as weird as they are, and we accept that of each other. Sure, we have differences. I like horror and gore and psychotic dark shit too much to be considered sane and Amelia likes what she likes (I'm not sure I should be disclosing her favors in here) and Irene just puts up with us because she likes us.
That only means we get more protective of her, though.
Being among the normals in PALAM, I am the weird one.
And that's alright, because I like it. I'm not changing it for the sakes of others' pleasure. Unless I'm directly hurting anyone, I don't see a reason for me to stop being 'me'.
 |
| Yeah girl, you tell 'em. |
So, with that in mind, there's only 3 weeks left till I pack up for next semester.
Whoop. Better start soaking up all that free time!
Comments
Post a Comment