Final Roll Call
Finally, some freakin' break!
Or well, I couldn't really call it a break, more like, a necessary halt.
Funny how seeing the same doctor twice can make them see right through your bluff. Or maybe having a panic attack causing your body to cramp in the sick bays work too.
Newsflash : I'm being medically referred to a legal psychiatrist in Sgai Buloh Hospital tomorrow morning by UK (unit kesihatan) as per the doctor who diagnosed me insisted.
It started off with just your regular run-off-the-mill panic attacks, really. It's not like they're out of the ordinary in my routine. But I guess at this age, they start to take a toll on your body(it sounds like I'm middle-aged or something..) and my body cramps really fucking bad throughout two nights leaving me with less than half an hour sleep and shit-ton of work and presentation to do. (no, I'm not on my period.)
Last I slept was the half an hour on Tuesday afternoon.
After Friday morning's class, a classmate dragged me to UK eventhough we were supposed to have a discussion on ENT. I thought, hey, why not just ask for some sleeping pills?
That'll get me sleep without problem, right?
Turns out 'sleeping pill' is apparently codeword for '3rd degree lockdown' because soon as I know it, I'm being dragged(again with the dragging) by the nurse to one of the rooms which got hospital beds ; they call it the sick bay.
They told me to try to sleep.
Well, they got what they asked for.
A panic attack and a body cramp.
They put a yellow mask on my face to regulate my breathing and told me to breathe. I held myself from rolling my eyes. I've been through this road for 8 years, really?
When they took off the mask after 2 hours later and seen with their eyes that I could really not go the fuck to sleep without my body cramping like a bitch eventhough it was obvious I'm dead on my feet and my eyes are unfocused and tired asf.
They gave me a little yellow pill that's generally for allergy that's got drowsy effect.
Finally, some sleep.
I woke up 3 hours later, needing to pee. The nurse was disappointed, because the pill was supposed to last 5-6 hours. I shrugged. Blame my bladder.
They told me to wait in the sick bay because the doctor wanted to see me as her last patient and they needed to clear off the front section. So I waited another 2 hours, using that time to inform my classmate (who had gone back when they kept me in the sick bay)
and Amelia and Irene. I'm not gonna tell my family anything until the verdict's out for sure.
After that, the doc finally called me up, firstly apologizing for keeping me in the sick bay so long. Apparently she wanted me to get some sleep before she calls me up so that I'd be in a more stable state. Well, she the doc. *shrug*
First thing she asked, what's wrong with you? this is the second time I've seen you in this exact room last year.
I thought, lady, there's a whole lot of fuckton that's wrong with me but I ain't sure ya wanna hear that.
Then she said, I was informed you hyperventilated as soon as you tried to sleep, is there something bothering you? The cramps are a result of carbon dioxide not getting enough to your brain, you know. If we could help you to stop hyperventilating(jolly gee gosh just call it a freakin panic attack sweet cheese on a stick) maybe we'll be able to help you sleep normally.
I thought, wow, normal sleep is such a mystery to me. Like a miracle, really.
Finally, she asked, why do you have these panic attacks?
I thought, well lady, finally you're asking the right question.
So I told her.
Not everything, though. Just most things. Related things.
Even then, she was extremely concerned.Hey, I haven't even said anything about self-harming yet. Kudos to me.
She asked me if I would be okay if she referred me to Sgai Buloh Hospital because that's the only hospital we're close enough to in this godforsaken mountain. UK's not equipped with sleeping pills because they are afraid of its abuse among students so they need to get a legal psychiatrist to prescribe them. This is all so troublesome.
Hell I didn't even need to go through all this procedure if y'all would just build a freakin' pharmacy up here.
She gave me another set of those tiny yellow tablets (allergy meds) that'll help me sleep. She also gave me an MC to skip Firefighter class the next day (Whoo!).
And lastly, she would write the hospital but she would refer my case as insomnia in which I would be able to get legal sleeping pills.
But she left me an advice, solving the surface problem won't solve the deep ones. The root of a thorn will grow no matter how many times you cut off its branch.
Deep, man.
Anyhow, in the case of transportation, the UK van will drive me back and forth from the hospital and I am allowed to bring one person along with me. Amelia wanted to come with but unfortunately she has a final test that very same morning.
Sad to break tradition at this point, Amelia has always been the one to accompany me to counselor offices. Lol
One thing I noticed was a cryptic moment when the doc said she'll write my case as insomnia, FOR NOW, but later the psychiatrist will determine the final say on that.
Well wouldn't that just be hunky dory.
If the expert psychiatrist somehow finds me within the realm of normal and stable, where in heaven and hell am I gonna get my sleeping pills, then?
P/S : I'm still not telling my family anything till we're 120% sure with the verdict.
P/P/S : It's been two days after I went through this shebang, the allergy meds work great and I can sleep soundly as long as I remember to take them once every 8 hours.
Or well, I couldn't really call it a break, more like, a necessary halt.
Funny how seeing the same doctor twice can make them see right through your bluff. Or maybe having a panic attack causing your body to cramp in the sick bays work too.
Newsflash : I'm being medically referred to a legal psychiatrist in Sgai Buloh Hospital tomorrow morning by UK (unit kesihatan) as per the doctor who diagnosed me insisted.
It started off with just your regular run-off-the-mill panic attacks, really. It's not like they're out of the ordinary in my routine. But I guess at this age, they start to take a toll on your body
Last I slept was the half an hour on Tuesday afternoon.
After Friday morning's class, a classmate dragged me to UK eventhough we were supposed to have a discussion on ENT. I thought, hey, why not just ask for some sleeping pills?
That'll get me sleep without problem, right?
Turns out 'sleeping pill' is apparently codeword for '3rd degree lockdown' because soon as I know it, I'm being dragged
They told me to try to sleep.
Well, they got what they asked for.
A panic attack and a body cramp.
They put a yellow mask on my face to regulate my breathing and told me to breathe. I held myself from rolling my eyes. I've been through this road for 8 years, really?
When they took off the mask after 2 hours later and seen with their eyes that I could really not go the fuck to sleep without my body cramping like a bitch eventhough it was obvious I'm dead on my feet and my eyes are unfocused and tired asf.
They gave me a little yellow pill that's generally for allergy that's got drowsy effect.
Finally, some sleep.
I woke up 3 hours later, needing to pee. The nurse was disappointed, because the pill was supposed to last 5-6 hours. I shrugged. Blame my bladder.
They told me to wait in the sick bay because the doctor wanted to see me as her last patient and they needed to clear off the front section. So I waited another 2 hours, using that time to inform my classmate (who had gone back when they kept me in the sick bay)
and Amelia and Irene. I'm not gonna tell my family anything until the verdict's out for sure.
After that, the doc finally called me up, firstly apologizing for keeping me in the sick bay so long. Apparently she wanted me to get some sleep before she calls me up so that I'd be in a more stable state. Well, she the doc. *shrug*
First thing she asked, what's wrong with you? this is the second time I've seen you in this exact room last year.
I thought, lady, there's a whole lot of fuckton that's wrong with me but I ain't sure ya wanna hear that.
Then she said, I was informed you hyperventilated as soon as you tried to sleep, is there something bothering you? The cramps are a result of carbon dioxide not getting enough to your brain, you know. If we could help you to stop hyperventilating
I thought, wow, normal sleep is such a mystery to me. Like a miracle, really.
Finally, she asked, why do you have these panic attacks?
I thought, well lady, finally you're asking the right question.
So I told her.
Not everything, though. Just most things. Related things.
Even then, she was extremely concerned.
She asked me if I would be okay if she referred me to Sgai Buloh Hospital because that's the only hospital we're close enough to in this godforsaken mountain. UK's not equipped with sleeping pills because they are afraid of its abuse among students so they need to get a legal psychiatrist to prescribe them. This is all so troublesome.
Hell I didn't even need to go through all this procedure if y'all would just build a freakin' pharmacy up here.
She gave me another set of those tiny yellow tablets (allergy meds) that'll help me sleep. She also gave me an MC to skip Firefighter class the next day (Whoo!).
And lastly, she would write the hospital but she would refer my case as insomnia in which I would be able to get legal sleeping pills.
But she left me an advice, solving the surface problem won't solve the deep ones. The root of a thorn will grow no matter how many times you cut off its branch.
Deep, man.
Anyhow, in the case of transportation, the UK van will drive me back and forth from the hospital and I am allowed to bring one person along with me. Amelia wanted to come with but unfortunately she has a final test that very same morning.
Sad to break tradition at this point, Amelia has always been the one to accompany me to counselor offices. Lol
One thing I noticed was a cryptic moment when the doc said she'll write my case as insomnia, FOR NOW, but later the psychiatrist will determine the final say on that.
Well wouldn't that just be hunky dory.
If the expert psychiatrist somehow finds me within the realm of normal and stable, where in heaven and hell am I gonna get my sleeping pills, then?
P/S : I'm still not telling my family anything till we're 120% sure with the verdict.
P/P/S : It's been two days after I went through this shebang, the allergy meds work great and I can sleep soundly as long as I remember to take them once every 8 hours.
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