Current Conspiracy (ies)
Greetings. It's been a while, haha.
I'm at home, lounging my ass off until 10th of September which is when the next semester starts, namely, my 4th. I've decided to stay in the same group again, mainly because a friend guilt-tripped me into it lol. As long as we keep the assholery of work to a minimum.
I like the girls, really. I just like them outside of work when we're not working together.
That's really inevitable, next to impossible, yes I am aware.
I am also aware that the girls can be made to understand this.
Regardless, as the holidays span, I have exciting plans await! xD
Not gonna jinx it yet but Amelia, Irene, and I have plans around late August.
Hopefully it'll come to fruition smoothly!
I miss them both so dearly. I hear rumors that PALAM will have a KTM line to KL Central in the future. Let's hope that's neither false or too far off because if that's true, my weekends would likely be spent in KL half the time. hahaha
Recently, Mya has succeeded in hooking me into my first MMORPG game ever called Milenia Ragnarok. I know she's a gamer and she was still playing it when we met so I'd assume correctly, she's less of a noob than I am. Also, by getting me dragged into this, she now has a responsibility over my gaming tendencies. Ha.
I like the game, so far. If only to be with her virtually, the game makes a more important contribution. She encourages me to socialize with the other players, but my aversion towards people and socializing has no difference in real life and virtual life.
Ya got me into gaming, bubbs. Socializing is pushing it. LOL
If she were to leave, I would have no reason to be there anymore. It's that simple.
Naturally, at first, Dad isn't too happy about this considering the bad outcomes it shows with my brothers, but after I explained to him about my situation with Mya, he understands and shuts up about it. He doesn't have anything to worry about, honestly.
Speaking of, Mom seems to have found a perfect box for her to shove the fact of my mental illness issue into which is our bloodline's supernatural heritage from my Nana's side.
I just, *sigh*.
Bloodline heritage aside, my mental illness is a really different issue, Mom.
For one, the "dreams" were just recent and has stopped 3 days ago.
My depression or "craziness" as you would call it, started about 9 years ago.
See? No fit.
Then again, you're not to blame. They're making do with what little data they have so, really, I'm not in any position to complain. Plaster a smile and go on with it, yeah?
They've been really extra great, though, since I came home. Not that the chores or the routine has changed but, they don't tend to leave me alone to myself anymore. And Mom comes over even if she just talks on her phone or sleep or whatever, but she is there.
Dad's been doing work in my room, too, having me help out occasionally.
It's...warm.
My family's really tactile even if we're emotionally constipated bunch, and I notice Mom increases little random touches these days. She holds my ankle when she talks, she rubs my knee when we sit, little things like that. Dad touches my head more often, and tickles me a lot. Slaps my back and poke me in the side. It's warm.
I love them.
I've only had one meltdown since I got home, and considering how quick I got back up, I count that as a win. Mya talked some sense into me, though, and I'm always grateful for her.
The meds are doing its work, but more importantly, half of the work is also mine to bear.
Time to dispel my demons once and for all, and stop chaining them on a leash.
Slowly, though. Can't be too reckless or my mind'll collapse.
Know the art of kintsugi?
It's a type of pottery art where the Japanese melt gold or silver to fill the cracks of a broken piece and make them even more valuable. Madam Azurae once taught me this, when she called me a 'survivor' instead of a 'victim'.
I finally feel ready to melt my share of gold and silver.
Slowly, they'll fill in the cracks and mold the pieces together.
I'm at home, lounging my ass off until 10th of September which is when the next semester starts, namely, my 4th. I've decided to stay in the same group again, mainly because a friend guilt-tripped me into it lol. As long as we keep the assholery of work to a minimum.
I like the girls, really. I just like them outside of work when we're not working together.
That's really inevitable, next to impossible, yes I am aware.
I am also aware that the girls can be made to understand this.
Regardless, as the holidays span, I have exciting plans await! xD
Not gonna jinx it yet but Amelia, Irene, and I have plans around late August.
Hopefully it'll come to fruition smoothly!
I miss them both so dearly. I hear rumors that PALAM will have a KTM line to KL Central in the future. Let's hope that's neither false or too far off because if that's true, my weekends would likely be spent in KL half the time. hahaha
Recently, Mya has succeeded in hooking me into my first MMORPG game ever called Milenia Ragnarok. I know she's a gamer and she was still playing it when we met so I'd assume correctly, she's less of a noob than I am. Also, by getting me dragged into this, she now has a responsibility over my gaming tendencies. Ha.
Ya got me into gaming, bubbs. Socializing is pushing it. LOL
If she were to leave, I would have no reason to be there anymore. It's that simple.
Naturally, at first, Dad isn't too happy about this considering the bad outcomes it shows with my brothers, but after I explained to him about my situation with Mya, he understands and shuts up about it. He doesn't have anything to worry about, honestly.
Speaking of, Mom seems to have found a perfect box for her to shove the fact of my mental illness issue into which is our bloodline's supernatural heritage from my Nana's side.
I just, *sigh*.
Bloodline heritage aside, my mental illness is a really different issue, Mom.
For one, the "dreams" were just recent and has stopped 3 days ago.
My depression or "craziness" as you would call it, started about 9 years ago.
See? No fit.
Then again, you're not to blame. They're making do with what little data they have so, really, I'm not in any position to complain. Plaster a smile and go on with it, yeah?
They've been really extra great, though, since I came home. Not that the chores or the routine has changed but, they don't tend to leave me alone to myself anymore. And Mom comes over even if she just talks on her phone or sleep or whatever, but she is there.
Dad's been doing work in my room, too, having me help out occasionally.
It's...warm.
My family's really tactile even if we're emotionally constipated bunch, and I notice Mom increases little random touches these days. She holds my ankle when she talks, she rubs my knee when we sit, little things like that. Dad touches my head more often, and tickles me a lot. Slaps my back and poke me in the side. It's warm.
I love them.
I've only had one meltdown since I got home, and considering how quick I got back up, I count that as a win. Mya talked some sense into me, though, and I'm always grateful for her.
The meds are doing its work, but more importantly, half of the work is also mine to bear.
Time to dispel my demons once and for all, and stop chaining them on a leash.
Slowly, though. Can't be too reckless or my mind'll collapse.
Know the art of kintsugi?
It's a type of pottery art where the Japanese melt gold or silver to fill the cracks of a broken piece and make them even more valuable. Madam Azurae once taught me this, when she called me a 'survivor' instead of a 'victim'.
I finally feel ready to melt my share of gold and silver.
Slowly, they'll fill in the cracks and mold the pieces together.
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