Nearing 30

 It's 2025, and I'm 29 years old. Next year, I will be 30.

A long time ago, I thought I would never reach 25. A long time ago, I sat through each night thinking it would be my last. A long time ago, I thought one of my attempts would be successful.

I don't know how to live because this future wasn't in my plans. I didn't think I'd still be alive by now, so most of the things I'm doing are automatic. 

But I'm happy, surprisingly. There are bad days and good days, obviously, and being a full time government worker, it's a monotonous routine each year. But the vacations I spend with my family and friends make up for it.

And the times I spend alone are peaceful.


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