nande darou...sonna koto ga..

Typing right around 3.05 a.m now..First time onlining FB after  a week of PMR Trial exam.I was kinda hoping to see or read some good news from my friends and most especially my sister,Nee-san.But alas,what I read tonight sliced my heart to smithereens....



After that betrayal by my first ever love,I was able to stand up again eventhough it took quite some time and with Faqie's support I was able to forget the whole thing even the guy himself.I was glad...But..Now,Nee-san...My own sister...I'm not saying she..betrayed me,no..

It's just that she accused me of being a "rotten" teenager because she thought that I had a boyfriend at this age..I DON'T HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW..Maybe I will in 2 years to come,but that's still far away! Such cruel statement...

She..never listens to me...
But I have always..always listened to her problems,listened to everything that makes her day happy or gloomy or sad or angry or whatever feelings there is but why can't she listens to me as well as I listen to her..? I told her before that my agreement with him would only be official after 2 years..I told her everything there is to tell,but why couldn't she just..Listen..?

And now,once again..That painful feeling has come back.
slicing and chopping my inside like tuna.If it was other people,I don't care..But it's nee-san..My own sister..Whom I respected,loved and treasured for she was the one who used to comfort me in my sleep.Accompanied me when I had nightmares...




My inside feels like it's gonna burst...

I've had enough already..so please..stop...stop..hurting me...
please...

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