-Foully exasperated-

Hey~
Rite now,I'm on the verge of my...consciousness,I should say.You know that feeling you get when you were terribly,horribly,exhaustingly tired and the only thing you want at that time is a good rest,but then something stood in your way and you can't shake it off? That,was what I had a few days ago.


School has been extremely busy for me lately,the library's going through renovations and as the Vice President of Librarian's Committee,I stayed later than other librarians on my shifts.
It was Monday,and I went home late in the evening,dead on my feet.I was tired,and all I wanted was to get home quickly and sleep.But when I got home,all I see was Dad and Muzakkir bickering loudly in the main living room.Their voices were raised,so loud I can't hear my thoughts.At that time,I felt like something snapped in me.Like a tight rope was cut by force.Maybe my sanity-rope.(-___-)
I scurried over to my room.I hate when this happens.I don't want to see this.Again.Now.
I changed in my room and lay on my stomach while covering my ears.I locked the door.Until Dad ambushed me,saying he's bringing Mom,Mukhlis and Mia to grandma's house,not knowing when will they be home and asked whether I wanted to come.I said nothing,but stared at my pile of homeworks on my desk instead.Then Dad stormed off.


Leaving my brother and me alone at home for the night.


I took a shower,and cried silently while I'm at it.I dressed and walked to the 7E not far from the neighbourhood eventhough it was getting dark,with my brother silently following my every steps.We said nothing,he continued to walk behind me,as I cried while walking in front of him.When we got home,I was feeling very unstable;hot but also cold.My head was spinning,and I feared of fainting.
Around midnight,Dad and the others came home.After a while,he stormed to my room,shouting loudly in my face,regarding the dinner that I cooked for my brother.I lost my appetite due to the spinning,so I cooked for him only.And I got shouted in the face for that.I slept with force that night.


I woke up with a very bad temper in the morning.I went to school on my own,and even ignored Mashitah's morning greeting to me as she passed by.I had a bad cough all day,because I hadn't eaten anything since last night.almost puked up in class,too.I didn't talked to anyone,almost barked even if I did,and growled at the slightest joke my friends made.I was in a really foul mood.
But it improved later then,when I started talking again.I apologized to Mashitah for my rude behaviour that morning.And I even helped Ain a little bit with the class's decoration.The quarrel will dissapear after a few days,but I don't feel like going home.Scared that maybe I'll hate what I'll see.So I hanged around at school a bit longer than I need to.I don't want to go home.


For now,I think I'll stay away from home a little while.Eventhough I tend to do that sometimes,but it doesn't especially involve this kind of....trouble.
It seems as though I'm a problematic student,aren't I? Hahaha..