Everyday Saviour

Mya is my everyday saviour. That much is obvious. I owe her nearly everything I am today and I would still owe her that till the day werew old and funky.

When I was just a filthy little shit, broken with jagged edges curled inwards that every time I breathe, it stabs me deeper- Mya looked me in the eye and hugged me. Even when the edges would cut her, she hugged me until the broke edges came together again. She risked her life for me, and that's a life debt I can never repay.
Who else have the courage to die alongside a suicidal person? 
Fresh with the memories of sexual abuse, reignited when understanding that those touches were not merely "friendly", back then. She taught me how to breathe, every single day and night. Taught me how to swim through the demons. 

I hate asking people to stay. Because they never do. I would rather fuck a cactus than ask someone to stay. They never do. They always leave. Even if they say they'll stay, they lie. Fucking bunch of stupid liars. 
Every time I ask someone to stay, and they end up leaving anyway, I feel so fucking stupid. 

But Mya, she asked me to stay.
Nobody's ever done that before. Nobody ever asked me to stay. It saved me. 

She saved me.

I don't care about anyone else anymore since then. The rest of them can leave or stay or whatever the fuck they want cause I don't care whatever it is they do. So long as I have Mya (and Indah now), I am okay. I will always be okay, as long as we stay. 

If you want to stay, be my guest. Don't expect me to ask you to stay or shit because I know you're lying, and I will never believe you. 
If you want to leave, the door is that way. You know it's always unlocked. 

If you aren't Mya or Indah, I don't care if you stay or leave. It doesn't impact me in any way. 

What you decide to be in my life is your choice. Don't drag me through your half-assed life choices just because you can't have what it takes to make a commitment. 

I will do what is necessary to survive my environment, but never assume I want to keep it more than work-related. I only need Mya and Indah in my personal life. Because they want to keep me, as much as I want to keep them.

The rest of the fuckers never seem to want to keep me, anyway, so good riddance. 

Good riddance.

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