It's Not The Same

I never hoped.Never dared.For all I knew,crushes aren't meant to come true.I mean,yeah,I've had probably more than enough crushes.But not once I have ever given them one thought that any of them would come true.
Crushes weren't suppose to come true.
That's why they're called 'crushes'.That's the way how I see it.

And besides,it's one-sided.I never hoped for anything and I was quite content with the way things were.I'd rather we stayed friends than to lose this one friendship.It would be a big loss considering he's my intel on animes.
Occasionally,I'd come across a good anime but that would mean lots of time wasted strolling for one.It would've been a helluva easier way to just ask what's hot from him.
Honestly,I didn't even think that it was possible.The 'thou-shalt-not-fall-for-thy-soulmates' thing is definitely crap.
I've never seen his face.Never even heard his voice but all of that seems unimportant somehow.He was there on most of the important times in my life.
He was there when nobody had.

Now,I know he doesn't feel the same way as I do,given that I've come to rely on him so much.I didn't expect him to.
I'm already thankful that he stayed instead of making a run for the hills when it happened.Frankly,I'm surprised he actually brought it up.

Of course,it's horrendously embarrassing enough that he noticed(was I too obvious?) because the amount of time we spend around each other can literally be counted with fingers.It didn't actually need much.He was just...there.

And I'm perfectly comfortable around him.God,he'd already seen me at my worst,there's nothing more I need or want to hide from him.He feels almost like Azer,although not quite.

He's...different.

When I need an order instead of a soothing pat on the back and loving coos in my ears,he gives it.Most of the time,problems need directions to solve instead of rubs on the back.Though I appreciate the gestures for they mean shows of affections and love.

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