Idiocy, thy name is Me.

I'm an idiot.
A stupid, moronic bastard.

I have worse names at the back of my head but it'll take me a long time to put it all down. What else do you call forgiving someone who's hurt you -and still keeps in touch with them? And it's not even the fun kind of hurt, to quote Stiles in a way.

No shit, sister. *scoff*

I hate people, okay?
It's not exactly news. Not exactly rocket science either.
I hate social interactions. Anything that involves me getting the fuck outta my room. 
And those I call 'friends'? Better appreciate the fuck out of my friendship.
Because getting involved with people outside family means getting hurt. And I take risk in making these people my 'friends'.

I don't smile a lot.
I don't laugh a lot.
I don't talk a lot.
I don't love a lot.

So don't make me regret my friendship, okay?
Because when I decide to call you my 'friend', it means that you are included in the little circle of people I care about. People I'd go through lengths, big or small, for.

And when you DO hurt me, I'll forgive you.
Because you're my 'friend'.
Oh, I'll get angry. Pissed off. Hurt.
Then I'll take some time on my own. Lick my wounds.
After that, depends on how much you hurt me, I'll put distance between us.
Then, I'll forgive you. I will, it's no lie.

I may be an asshole, but I'm an asshole who cares about people I love.

After discovering my post-traumatic condition, I've been slowly going on self-recovery. And when I say 'slowly', I mean 'tortoise-speed slowly'. Like even a baby turtle could walk faster. It's a slow process. But I'm cracking my ass here, so shut it.
The nightmares are slowly going away.
But I still jolt awake from my sleep when someone wakes me up.

I haven't cried myself to sleep in a long time.
But I gotta hand it to you, Kei.
You're one 'lucky' bastard.