I Slipped and Fell, Okay? It Happens to the best of Us.

Last night was horrendously embarrassing.
I didn't mean for it to happen, okay? I slipped. An honest to God innocent slip.

 We never knew the line between each other.
There's always pranks and jokes and harmless flirts, acting as a wall.
A barricade.

 It happened right before I knew it.
It didn't occur to me that my speech suddenly swerved to a 180 degree change. I always seem to do so without meaning to. I find joking in written texts harder than in spoken speech. Partly because my nature in writing is not humorous, sarcasm aside.

 I've always thought that whatever happened between us, I wouldn't mind.
Because it's him. 

 Maybe that's the reason.
I always put my trust in the wrong person.
And they always manage to hurt me one way or another, consciously or not.
They blame me for being sensitive, but don't you get wary after being betrayed so many times over and over?

I never want to trust anyone anymore.
As far as affections go, you will have my assistance should you require it, but nothing more. I'm scared. Hurt.
Every fuckin time I decided to be brave and took a leap of faith, it ends up screwing me over. People ask me to trust them all the time, and you know what? Fuck you.
I'm never trusting another human.

But I agree that this one is my fault.
I should've never gone too far. Should've never kept the ambers alive.
This one, I am hurt on my own account, and I will need some time to lick my wounds.
Who knows how long?

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