miss you


last night before 31st of August,I called faqie.Her voice,gives me the almost same calming,angelic voice as nee-san usually does when I was still in the hostel.I haven't called her since last month,man,it was THAT long?? I want to remember our conversation last night so I thought this might work..

F:hello?? farah,you there??

Me:faqie..

F:farah?? is there something wrong?? you messaged me that there's something important you wanna talk about..

Me:faqie,didn't I also messaged you that I will call you tonight about that??

F:I couldn't resist my curiosity so I called you first.So,what's wrong?? did you got hurt?? who did this to you?? why are your voice sounds like you're crying??

Me:n..no..I intend to tell you about it tonight but,since you had already called...

F:what is it?? just tell me..

Me:my heart hurts,faqie..he cheated on me..

F:what happened,farah??

Me:a few days ago,he borrowed my MP3 charger to charge his phone and he left it at my house.After I charged his phone to full battery,a message came in and I doesn't know how to shut it down because his phone was a different model,and I...Accidentally opened the message..It said,"hi,honey,what're you doing??"..I was shocked...

F:farah..you okay,baby?? stop crying..

Me:it hurts,faqie..I don't mind if he rejected me from the beginning but why did he accepted me instead?? is it because he wants to toy me around?? if he already had someone special,then he shouldn't acceted me from the start..I wouldn't mind if I was rejected and I could go back to my usual daily life but why didn't he rejected me??? why did he do this to me,faqie...

F;...........

Me:faqie..tell me what to do...I was never good in interpreting my feelings,but you know me...please..tell me what to do to throw this pain away..my eyes are already swollen because I've been crying all night since the last few days...faqie...

F:listen,farah..tell me where he is and I'll book a ticket to your place right now!

Me:huh..??

F:this is what you need to do,stay away from him as long as possible and even if you bumped into him,prevent from talking to him or looking at him or greeting him.Just make sure that you forget all the crappy shits about him,ok??

Me:well,I wish I could do that but,he knows my grandpa's house and if I go there,I would have to see his crappy face again...

F:DON'T MIND HIM!! then,every time you see his face,just imagine that I'm there and I'm choking him with all my might,crushing his tiny,pissy,idiotic little head into pieces,slashing his body into tiny molecules and cutting him to be thrown into the river for the crocodiles' feast!!!

Me:ppffftt...ahahahahahahahahaha~~~!!!! you're so funny!! and why would you want to get all the troubles for??? ahahaha..

F:see?? that's more like it..laughing suits you better than crying,farah..Hm?? why would I do that?? well,that's a simple question,BECAUSE HE HURTED MY FARAH~~!!! NOBODY HURTS YOU NO MATTER WHO THE SHITTY ASS MIGHT BE,OR I'LL CUT HIM/HER INTO SLICES AND COOK HIM/HER FOR DINNER~~!!! GRUUAAAAHHH~~!!!

Me:ahehehehehehehehe~~~!!!! you eat human for dinner??? hahahahaha,your taste IS unique...hahaha~~~

F:see?? your laughing again! that's better..Don't cry anymore,okay?? you know that if you cry,then I'll be crying with you..So please,keep smiling and laughing like the usual farah we love..

Me:I don't know,faqie..when I was with you,I can express myself freely and cry with nothing holding me back,but here..Even when I want to cry,I can't..It's like,I automatically burn them all inside me,my feelings..I can't express them genuinely here..Maybe because I was used to it,this place IS my hometown and I've been living that way since I was in primary school..

F:farah,don't do that..it's bad for you,you need to express all the things you have inside you..keeping it all may have a bad influence on you..

Me:but that's how I am,faqie..I used to be this way,and probably,this's how I'm gonna be ..

F:farah..you can't keep it all..sometimes,it will be too much for you to take..

Me:I know..It happens sometimes,but I can overcome it..Just this one,that I overcame it,with your help..

F:that's great,then..well,gotta go now..call me tonight,okay??

Me:okay..

F:love you,farah..chiaow~~ -hangs up-

Me:yeah...love you too.. -puts down the phone-

It was weird,but that's how it happens.The moment I heard her voice flew away my problems..Now,I can live my daily life again..Thank you,faqie.. X)

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