Enemy to my Enemy is....an Ally?

Greetings.

So, the last post was about my first public major panic attack. Regarding that issue, I've been thinking about it quite a bit, with some input from Amelia, as always.

It's no secret that I've started to check out every counsellor office wherever I ended up in because first thing I'd like to know is whether they have good use or measures of help in case I needed them. I say check out as in recon mission, never yet a direct involvement.
Not after a ghastly encounter with a, frankly, incredulous staff of work.
Apparently all I needed was a good hearty jump to the light side. *roll eyes*

I'd rather jump off of a fucking building, lady.

This time, I suppose I've a bit of luck on my side. The counsellor happens to be my education course lecturer, or rather, the other way around. I get the advantage of observing her from a safe distance and evaluate whether or not I'd pay her office a visit.
Luck indeed.

I wasn't gonna advance without back-ups though. I'm reckless, not stupid.

So far, Amelia seems to be on-board with the idea. She knows about the incident on the marching issue, of course, and is quite adamant that I need an ally on my side to get me the hell outta dodge from that trigger. Maybe because she's seen it firsthand, how far my breakdowns and panic attacks have been. She's pulled me out of 'em often enough.

I couldn't get out without legal papers.
She thinks maybe the counsellor can give me a pardon.
I have no idea whether or not it'll work. 
Amelia has always been the one more resourceful with the authorities than me.
My thing is push till I drop.
Ha.

She warned me that the counsellor may direct me to a psychiatrist, as before had done. 
I don't know what to think about that. It doesn't sound as bad...but if somebody starts mentioning the word 'family' I'm dancing away through the door before you can say Pizza.
The way she's frustrated with our distance warms me, though.
It's nice to see that the feeling's mutual.

When she mentioned that Irene had talked to Sis once, I halted.
I don't remember that ever happened?
As far as I know, neither Irene nor Amelia has met Sis face to face? 
When could she has possibly hold a conversation with Sis?

It warms me even more when she said that Irene had only asked Sis to watch over me at home, where the one place they couldn't reach me. I teared right up like a lil bitch.
God I love these two so fucking much.

Also, when I woke up from a long nap this evening, my roommate suddenly said something quite surprising, after some time in recovery.

"Is it nightmares again?"

I mean, yes, I have been having nightmares again since the marching day incident which counts to nearly 2 weeks but I didn't think much of them. They didn't woke me up like before, and I haven't been staring lifelessly at the wall (much).
I didn't wake up screaming or sobbing or even dry-heaving.
They're just....nightmares.

Maybe my roommate noticed. The way I don't quite look or feel rested even after a long ass sleep. The way I sigh heavily and drag my palms all over my face and hair, as if trying to shake off the dreams. The way I try to not wobble when I stand.

Of course, when she asked, I didn't lie.
Not like I have anything to lose, right?