AkImA No NiKkI

Last nite,messaged with Faqie my princess.I wanted to keep in touch with her as often as possible NOW because we might not be able to have any time for ourselves soon,ya know,with the tuitions and schools and all that..So that,we talked some things and then she mentioned something about shots she took at school. Shot(suntikan). I asked her,was she okay during the shot? Because of mama's(Azwa's) last report on her was quite disturbing,I was worried of her,mama said she stopped eating daily,her face is pale as sheet,she keeps forgetting things and she walks like a crab..T__T She said that the shot was not her first in this year,I was shocked.Did she get shot for another reason? Is she sick? Was she taking a serious shot? She quickly excused herself from our conversation.That's weird,right? Totally weird. I knew she had something behind us all along,we just doesn't have the heart to push her for the truth..Instead,we used the sweet and smooth approach by giving her time t

Today's the first day I started my tuition classes ,yes,you heard me right, CLASSES .Meaning more than one class in a day. 3 CLASSES in a day .I'm not bragging nor complaining,it's just that I feel weird and giddy with the word 'tuition class' because I haven't attended one in so many years ever since I stopped my last one when I was 9 years old.So this was my first day and I should get used to this soon enough.I don't care which one I should attend,mom signed me up on whichever she prefers,wherever it is,and my job is only to let her and obey.Wherever she signed,that's where I'm going.Besides,I trust mom whichever she chooses because I'm pretty sure that she will choose the best for me.She's my mom ,Duh~~ But then,until I'm very super duper hyper busy,I could still have some free time to online and enjoy myself to the limit.Super stress is not good,but super leisure is not good either so I'll try to balance both things to make sure

Yesterday I saw him again.Although I have gotten over him a long time ago,seeing him still shivers me.And it was on the first sight.It has been a long time since I last spot him on my eyes..Besides,no matter how many times I told myself that I have gotten over him,the fact that he WAS my first and ever love cannot change.It's a fact.I remember the first time we saw each other after I figured out his betrayal,the moment our eyes interacted,I flinched,spun my body 200 degrees,and ran to the nearest bedroom.Slammed the door hard.It was funny actually,when we got home,nee-san asked about my behaviours.She said I've been acting strange since our way back from grandma's house.I silenced,with nothing said,I gave her a fake smile and ran to the bathroom.I know,I run a lot.I guess,no matter how brave someone is,they would still have something to run from. I know that time could make me forget him.His sweet talking.His laughing face.Time will help me in this,and it did.But not for

Hi.As I said in my last post..I will not be able to post so soon than after each posts.Now if you see what I mean,this IS what I meant.Well,enough about that,let's see what the h*** am I gonna post this time?? Let's see..Not much to say about my family tho,mom and dad are still the same,so is my little bro's and Mia..Ah,Nee-san! I miss her badly already~ plus,she brought all the good stuff with her! Like Nodame Cantabile,How To Train Your Dragon,Hayao Miyazaki Studio,and a lot of K-Pop and J-Pop music videos!! but,never mind that because she's coming home this 27th of January~~~!!!! O YEAH~~~ Sweet new movies is burning up my nostrils man! hahaha~ I miss her..x( Faqie? not much to say either,we haven't contact each other since the last night we talked.I'm guessing not too okay tho,she's not the type to adjust so easily with the things she got used so much(even though I didn't know her from the day she was born or something like that,it's pretty easy

Last night,on the night of 6 January 2011,for the first time in months,I was able to hear her voice again...Luchia...Faqihah....Thank you,God...Alhamdulillah,Ya Allah...Faqie,do you know how many problems have you helped me solved in my head just by hearing your voice??The moment I hear your voice,my mind cleared.All the sourly clouds that shielded my brain vanished into thin air and came out a sparkling rainbow~~ (like Squidword,hahaha) At first,we messaged and then I called her.She picked up on second ring.We talked quite a lot.. Me:hello?? baby?? Faqie:hello.. Papa .. Me: (in shock of happiness) you answered.. Faqie:of course,I'm not deaf yet. Me:So,how's everything going there?? You don't live at the hostel anymore as far as I remember,right?? How's my precious baby doing?? How's mama doing?? Faqie:hey,slow down,I can't answer everything in one time! Me:yeah,yeah,sorry~ xD Faqie:things...Aren't going so good here,and yes,I don't live at the hostel a

I hate it here! hate hate hate hate!!!!! I can't stand this anymore....That new girl is just making things worse for me...I don't hate her,but I don't really like her either..I started to....Lose myself here..I don't like myself..I hate myself..I hate what I become,I hate what I changed,I hate myself..Faqihah,do you know why I love being by your side?? You make me feel at ease..Self-composed...I feel that there's nothing wrong with me..I can accept myself for who I am,for what I do,for what I feel..You,are the friend that I should kill myself for leaving you..And Azwa too..Hidayah...Sharmeen...Elyana...Aina...All of you...made me feel comfortable with being just only... me ... I'm sorry...I'm sorry... But I don't think I can feel you anymore ..The bond that enables us to feel each other...I'm so sorry,baby...It's gone... Gone ....I'm useless..Hopeless..I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry.... I lost..I lost myself..Now,what am I to