AkImA No NiKkI

Hmmm....Actually,I don't think of posting anything for now but I changed my mind after reading a few of Sarah's new posts in her blog,L0L...Lately,I've been flashbacking about Karen ,I wonder is she alright?? It's been a while since we saw her laughing face..A lot of times have been very hard for us because we don't have the 'special ' relationship like Faqie and I,we can't feel each other's condition,so we have no idea what's happening to each other..I hope she's okay,because she's quite small and easy to be bullied,we-as in me (father), Azwa (mother) and faqie (first daughter)-are really worried about her..It's not like she could or would fight anyone if she's being picked on..T__T I have a bad feeling about her... Oh,by the way,Sarah.You told me that you want me to teach you the 'ha-ha-mask'?? don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing! It's just a fake expression that you make on your face evrytime you

Looks like a bit of my pathetic life had returned to normal,last night I stayed up late around 4-5 am,so I'm pretty charged up today.I talked to Faqie 2 days ago,we were supposed to meet each other at the hostel on weekends but was postponed to 2 weeks ahead because her dad told her to go home for the week.I admit I was frustrated and kinda pissed with her dad,not only that,remembering that her dad was the one who had the beautiful friendship with that son of a bitch's dad and the reason Faqie and that jerkass engaged in the first place reminds me of the dream in the 'yume ka?' post.(T__T)...But still,I was thinking of getting a new number and use my dad's old phone,truthfully I don't want to use mom's number anymore,the risk of too much money is unbearable..hahahaha~~ XP Plus,I could talk to my baby and my queen freely when I have my own number,it's what you call 'privacy talk'.Faqie's voice turned pretty rough,I guess she have been crying

I..I totally can't believe you,Sarah..Why would you do so much for me?? I am the second part in your family,I'm not your siblings or your nearest cousins,because I'm your cousin-to-cousin.But you are so...Willing to sacrifice so much for me,even more than your own family...Why?? Sorry,but curiosity beats everything. Sometimes I wish you were older than me,cause you're way more matured than I am.If you were,then I would have no hesitation to express all of me to you.But since you are my kohai that means I have to show you a good example.Damn,your comment made me half cried.I was so touched...Frankly speaking ,no one have ever asked me that before...And I'm quite surprised that a kid a year younger than I am would asked me that..To be a guardian to the cage,is a hard job..Cause my angels may come later than they were suppose to come,or never at all...And it will be a burden to you,frankly,I'm quite heavy hearted to give you that key.. But,I thank you so much..

Dear Sarah, I appreciate that you have been reading my blog recently,and I purposely wrote this to you in my blog because I knew someday you would read it.A few days ago,I recall of reading your blog that you'll reserve your shoulders for me.That kind of thing,is not needed although thank you for your kindness.I will give you the reasons.You see,you're a year younger than me.That makes a lot of difference.I appreciate your concern for me and you also listens to my problems,I will express my gratitude as long as I can in the greatest way I can manage,but there are also things you should know.I'm an egoist,even though you reserved your shoulders for me,I will never put anything on them.My ego would never let me bow to a younger kid,plus burdening you with the already problems you have on your own.I can stand on my own,even though I can't.I realise that you too have better things to deal in your life which has nothing to do with me,so don't ask me to add the burden to

I'm..really childish..And the only people who knows this side of me is them,Faqihah,Azwa,Hidayah and Sharmeen.And among the five of them,the person who acknowledges me the most would be Faqihah and Azwa as they had seen many sides of me that no other living thing have ever seen before.Though many people seem to know this side of me,but they have never really seen it in reality. I am a childish kid.Also a selfish person.A little egoist and imprudent. There is a story behind this statements.A sad story of a girl.Let me tell you this story,about a girl who is afraid to let go and afraid to be alone. It started with a dream that made her realise she doesn't want to lose her important person.Her sister.She dreamed the most terrible dream,a dream of her sister saying goodbye and vanishes before her whilst she could do nothing even to hear her own voice,calling her sister's name over and over.She was so scared,all the things around her had collapsed,she was all alone and the only

Last night I had a dream.It was a happy dream.The dream I had always wanted to be dreaming about.It started with our usual lives,by 'our' I mean Faqie and I,we started the day with waking up staring at each other's faces and pulling each other's cheeks,I presume that the day would be Thursday then because that was the day that we would usually do that.We greet each other mornings and went off to school,it was weird because it was already 9 am at the time but it seems like the school haven't even started yet...T__T Then we talked like other normal days would be and somehow we ended up having a discussion about spending the one-week-summer-holidays at my place..Me in the dream was also thinking "this is weird.."..But still,she spend it out at my place anyway.The next day we woke up,after having breakfast,she said she wanted to visit my old school. MY PRIMARY SCHOOL. Me in the reality world was shocked,but me in the dream just smiled genuinely and said "

Last night I received a message from Faqie through my mom's phone.Well,I was shocked actually,never thought that fazer could make it through with them.I asked for fazer's help to get their numbers back and since faqie and azwa weren't really the type that talks to guys they don't know,I was pretty worried that he would get kicked before he had a chance to say anything...T___T But then,he made it~~!!!! XD The moment I heard faqie's voice again,it was like I had come back from the dead.I felt so happy! But still,something made me cry that night,first from happiness,the second was from guilt... Faqie: Hello??? farah?? is that you??? (probably didn't recognise me cause I used mom's number) me:yes,baby.It's papa.(we use the 'family' calling lately) faqie:farah??? God,I've been trying to contact your number for the last few weeks and you didn't even responded to me!! what happened?? me:sorry princess,my phone got stolen along with my SIM card s

I...just want to sleep...I want to sleep and live in my dream,where I can run from realities..From this world..True,I've seen many ridiculous acts done by many teenagers and mostly they are the same age as me,my sister said that 14 is the most dangerous year for teenagers because it's the most rebellious,dangerous,confusing year of the teenagerhood.Well,it's my sister's opinion.. Ever since I lost my phone a week ago,I don't know myself anymore,like I've drowned to the way I used to be... In a cage ..Because that phone is the only way for me to keep in touch with faqie and azwa..They don't really opened up to technologies so they don't have any email addresses,I don't really mind with the others because I can still contact them through emails and facebooks..It's them that I worry about,because without them, I'm back to the way I used to be, not me.. I noticed that I've lost a bit of conscious sometimes especially when at school,it feels l