mask

Hmmm....Actually,I don't think of posting anything for now but I changed my mind after reading a few of Sarah's new posts in her blog,L0L...Lately,I've been flashbacking about Karen,I wonder is she alright?? It's been a while since we saw her laughing face..A lot of times have been very hard for us because we don't have the 'special' relationship like Faqie and I,we can't feel each other's condition,so we have no idea what's happening to each other..I hope she's okay,because she's quite small and easy to be bullied,we-as in me(father),Azwa(mother) and faqie(first daughter)-are really worried about her..It's not like she could or would fight anyone if she's being picked on..T__T I have a bad feeling about her...

Oh,by the way,Sarah.You told me that you want me to teach you the 'ha-ha-mask'?? don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing! It's just a fake expression that you make on your face evrytime you feel the need of unneed expression for the people around you!That 'mask' had never existed in the first place,it's a usual thing,everybody does it.The only thing that makes my fakes special is that I've been doing it for a few years only,that's no biggie.It will come out of you sooner or later,when you really need it,besides it comes out naturally and automatically and you does not need me to actually teach you that.As I said,they lies in the deepest part of you,the inner you which a place that no one can reach even me myself.You will find them eventually when the right time comes,the same goes for me.The first time I found them was the first time I experienced pain,5 years ago to be exact,also the first time I discovered the 'secret cage'.At that time,I wondered what was the cage for?? After I felt so many pains of the people around me,I realized what is the cage for,it's for me.It's like a punishment for me,every time I hurt people I would 'lock' myself in there as detention and repention,I tortured 'myself' in 'there' with the loneliness,darkness,coldness around 'me'.You see Sarah,as for me,they came out when I hurted my most important people but I'm sure you'll find them with a much better way than pain as you are too young to experience this.Find them when you realise you really need them not for yourself,but for the ones you care about,then they would be really helpful.Find them with warmth and calmness,and accept them with consciousness of consequences.Don't find them the way I used to fine them in me,the pain is unbearable..

Oh,and if you don't mind,could you bring the 'Beast Master' comics by Motomi Kyousuke tomorrow?? and 'Fruits' too~~ XDD [Sorry for the trouble...] I've run out of stocks lately~~ XO

Comments

  1. Airi KisekiNovember 1, 2010 at 4:46 AM

    LOL. I know that the mask didn't even exist. But is it okay for me to put up a damn fake laugh even when I didn't feel like smiling or laughing? I'm worried that I'll get used to it until I can't even know which is fake which is not.. TT_TT

    Sure~ I can bring the Beast Master comics >o</ but Fruits' books are 3.. You didn't expect me to bring 5 books + 3 Kreko one time right? My shoulder will fall off Dx lolol~~

    ReplyDelete
  2. FarahNovember 1, 2010 at 5:59 AM

    yeah,sure.The 'beast master' would do just fine. I suggest u don't follow me,I don't want u to end up like me,unable ti differ the real smile and the fake smile.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Airi KisekiNovember 2, 2010 at 10:12 PM

    sushhh!!don't said that will ya? I'm grateful since u still have mama and princess 'cause when u're with them, u give a damn real smile and laugh~ x)

    ReplyDelete
  4. FarahNovember 3, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    u don't know the rest of it.How do u know I smile and laugh for real?? How do u know that they were not fakes??? I don't give a shit to differ them at all...

    ReplyDelete

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