AkImA No NiKkI

AAAAccckkkkkkkkk.........I can't believe he did it...I totally can't believe dis....He totally did it.....He posted EIGHT pictures that had ME in it,wait,seven because one picture was the food we played when eating lunch together.But still,why did he had to post all SEVEN pictures that coincidentally had ME in it?????? FAAAAAAZIIIIIIRRRRR~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!! DX Dang! And he put the one he likes too????? Gah!! The one he took of me when I was walking! I mean,I was busy watching where I stepped that I didn't realized he took a picture of me! And you know what he said after he took the picture,he said that this picture of me is his most favourite because it made me look so natural looking! I thought it was a joke!! AGh~!!! Though I like that one too...Hehe~~.. Oh please please please please let our friendship remains friendship! I don't want the same tragedy to happen all over again....I'm SO not gonna go through this again!Why does the one who keep confessing to

Wow,what a dream! It's been a while since I last 'remembered' his face.By what I mean 'his' is my childhood friend,Mohd Amin who is now in Pahang because he moved there a year ago.We used to play together when we were 11 and he was my neighbour.His house used to be just in front of mine and every evening,he would come to my house and call me and my brother(not occasionally my brother) to play outside.One day I saw a picture of Nickhun,one of the Korean boy band,2PM in mekda's file and for a second I was shocked like skipped a beat because for a moment there I thought I saw his face on that picture.I asked the picture from her to make sure that I must have been imagining things,and when I stared at the picture like,for 20 minutes,I realized that wasn't him.He's not him.A sigh of relief passed my lips.Mekda asked me,"why did you stare at my Nickhun like that? He's mine,ya noe!",I chuckled."Nah,I don't want him.It's just that h

One word. SCHOOL .Another word. BROTHER .Catch anything?? Not yet?? Well let me get this straight..... BROTHER = SCHOOL = MY STUPID LITTLE FUCKING JACKASSED BROTHER IS GOING TO BE IN THE SAME SCHOOL AS I AM. Huh?? Huh?? I know,when my mom said that,I was like,"HOLY SHIT!!!!???" and almost teared up my mom's shirt because I was folding the clothes at the time.My dad shot me a respect-ur-mom glare and I lowered my head as well as my voice.I curse a lot lately,maybe I read too many fanfictions.Ha ha ha.I mean,oh for God's sake,how can I ever live my 15 years old life with the presence of my stupid shitty fucking jackassed brother at school AND at home!!!??? Not just that I'll had to see his face at home,but at school too!!!??? Fuck,man!!!! I used to think that next year would be a better year than this one,but it turns out that it's gonna be worse than this year.OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT HOLY CRAPPY FUCKING SHIT. AAAAACCCCKKKKK~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is cruel man..L

AAAAGGGHHHHH~~~~!!!!!!!! DX Today's the most hateful day of this week! I woke up as usual this morning and my throat was like killing me! Feels like there's a fireball stuck in there! Then I went to watch TV as any morning and then the worst shit came. MUZAKKIR .That good-for-nothing little shit with his usual fucking jackass-hole attitude kicked a ball to my sleepy face!! Okay,I knew he did that on purpose that little rotten fuckass! Aaaaannndd then we had a fight.We fought like crazy man! He kicked my stomach real hard I felt like throwing up! Good thing I didn't have my breakfast yet! Then the worst thing other than that dumb little fucking shit came, MY DAD .He was furious.Furious is not good.But we didn't stop fighting,until he whacked us both with a broom.Okay I admit that hurts,and we stopped hitting each other.My back stings and I ran away from there to my room..SOBBING.Seriously,it's been years since I got hit by dad,like my last bruise was when I'm 8

Ahahahaha~~~!! Kyou wa ore no ototo no tanjoubi da you! Nanka,ore wa sukke wasureteta! Buahahahahaha~~~!!! XD Warui na,bakka ototo ga! Xp [Here means,'today is my little brother's brirthday! Why,I totally forgot! Buahahahahaha~~!!! Sorry,my bad,stupid little brother!] Well,you heard me.Today's my loathful ototo no tanjoubi. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUZAKKIR!!! Eventhough I hate you and loathe you and wished that you had never existed in my life before,nothing would change the fact that you're my little brother and that we share the same genes and came form the same bloodline.We both came from the same origin and no matter how much guts I have to kill you,you would still remain my little brother. [I don't know how you may take that,either as a compliment or the other way around.] Wan Ahmad Muzakkir Bin Wan Yahya,12 years old,born on this date 21/12/1998,two years younger than me and especially is very loathable in this family .Seriously,I never even thought about this littl

[Sou yo..Ima wa ore ni koko ni aru dakara..Luchia to Hanon wa itsumo ikite basho mo..] [Jaa...Ore wa..Modoru ka???] [Ima mo,korekara mo???] It's either I'm losing it or I'm gaining it.I can't say I'm sick of this place because I'm talking about my home here,and I live with my family here since I was born.Eventhough I was born in Pasir Puteh,I was brought to Tanah Merah around a year old.My brothers and Mia was born genuinely in Tanah Merah,usually at the Hospital except for nee-san.She was born when mom and dad was on their way home from Kuala Lumpur,in a guesthouse beside the road I think.But then,I'm not sure whether I'm losing my sanity or I'm starting to gain them back.Know why?? Well,lately I've been acting normal .you know, NORMAL .Like, teenager normal .I'm not saying that I have always been crazy or insane but in this case,probably yeah..Remember my last acting when I lost my *ketai and all the crazy posts below?? That was quite pa

Today there's a movie on TV3 Channel this morning called "King Of Thorns",I was kinda surprised because I never saw it before,I mean not in magazines or in any channels before and we were interested.By what I mean 'we' ,I meant nee-san and I.After watching it,nee-san said it was not understandable and twitchy so did my mom but I didn't think so.I think that the story was fascinating and remarkable because the story line was incredibly arranged and the way they tell the audience of the past is very different from the cliche' ones.Frankly,I was amazed by the twins strict bonds, Ishiki Kasumi and Ishiki Shizuku somehow they remind me of the Hitachiin twins, Hitachiin Kaoru and Hitachiin Hikaru but it was a bit sad that Kasumi died halfway the story goes when I knew the one called 'Host S' was actually Shizuku because she was a patient with uncontrollable emotions when Kasumi fell off the cliff.It was actually a bit dramatic because the 'K

Okay,that's it.I don't wanna give a thought about guys anymore..I don't understand their species..T___T Tonight,this night,I opened my Facebook and replied anything that should be replied as usual,and then he came.My old buddy who had once I rejected his confession to me 3 years ago.First of all,I don't really mind since we promised that this is over and we are friends like we used to be.Unawkward..And..Lack of self-confidence...Gaaaahhhh~~~~..... (>^<)...He kept talking like he was at fault that I rejected him,and made me totally remorseful,this guy had -100% of self-confidence.He's making me feel bad..I rejected him because we're friends..I can't say that I'm a softies when it comes to this because I am so totally not,I am not qualified to give hopes to a friend,FALSE HOPES to be exact,because I don't love him so I can't say the opposite.It'll hurt him even more if he knows that if I say 'yes' because of sympathy instead of lo

Ok,this year is seriously the worst year of my entire life.So many terrible things happen,although there are some good things but they're just little unnoticeable things that don't make so much impact on my life,my pathetic life,I mean...Well,I prefer typing than writing because my hands get less sweaty when I type,and saves time,I think. This year,i lost my cellphone,this year,I messed up my head,this year I knew the truth about 'him' and realised how stupid I was to love him right after I knew he backstabbed me by cheating on me and made me thought how cheap I am..There's a lot more but I don't want to ruin my day as well as any other day might be,at least there's a good side which is about my study.I found some of my last year's record and I had to admit that I made a very drastic progress between these two years,last year's final year exam I got 1A 4Bs 3Cs and 1D and this year's final year exam I got 4As 3Bs and 1C,that's a good progress.

'Hikari' in Japanese means 'light' or rather 'a ray of light'.When I was a kid,I loved to stare at lights,beautiful lights.Because I seldom saw any in any of the people around me including myself,I don't mean just any usual lights here,people.I'm talking about lights you can't see with your eyes,but you see it with your mind or rather you call a heart.I know,normal parents don't usually teach these things to a 7 years old daughter and my parents didn't taught me that either.I just...Somehow saw them.Don't ask me how,or why because I never thought about it or did I ever tried to give a thought at all.I just saw them,and sometimes I don't.Because it started with my sister's life,the first light I saw and also the first darkness I fell.Ya know,nee-san's life seemed to fill with agony and despair.She came home from school with a sour face and getting in fights with mom and dad about her studies,I watched them.Dad screamed,mom snap

Ugh..Yabe..Yabe...Know why?? Because I HAD to forgive the worst guy on earth..Know who is he?? LUCHIA'S FIANCEE' .I just bought my new number yesterday,and called Luchia that very night.It was thrilling to hear her voice again,I was reborn.Then she told me she wanted to move out from the hostel,I asked her why,she said she doesn't know.Probably bored from the fights with the form 4 seniors,but if she moved out from the hostel,it would be very hard to get to school in time.Her house was like a thousand miles away from KB! But then,it's her choice,if she wanted to drop out from hostel,I can't do anything about it which is the most hateful thing in my life.Then I asked her,if she go back home every day from school she would have to meet the wrathful fiancee' of hers and she said, dead people can't meet the living .I repeat ,"DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T MEET THE LIVING". I was kinda surprised,wow,my wish was granted that fast?? I asked her,is this tru

Oh GOD...I mean it when I said I had forget him already..Didn't I?? I mean,I was super duper dead serious when I said to her that ,"I had forget all about him in these few weeks,I can live my life normally now", right?? So tell me...Why the shitty bloody hell that my heart skipped a beat when I saw him yesterday at Grandma's house in TM??!!!! And not only that,after it skipped a beat,it began to beat faster than ever!!! GUWAAAAAAAHHHH~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!! XO Dude,it was just a glance!! He glanced at me at the same time I noticed his appearance that evening!!! It was just a bloody glance, DAMMIT~~!!!!!!! DX LUCHIA,I NEED YOU RITE NOW~~~~!!!!!!!!!!! - screams loudly to the top of her lungs in her mind till her ears droped from her head- Nanairo no kaze ni fukarete tooi misaki wo mezashiteta yoakemae kikoeta melody sore wa tottemo natsukashii uta higashi no sora eto habatakuu torii tachi saa takaraji manii yukeru Ok,that was weird.Why did this song suddenly came up?

ehem,ehem..Ni first time aq post dlm B.M so ayat2nye mngkin jiwang sket la.Lagipon tkde mkhluk laen yg mmbaca slain Sarah dn bbrapa kwn aq lgi je so buat ape nk kisah.XP Ada bbrapa kisah dlm post kli ni so dharap anda tlh brsedia scara mental. ~~~Jeng Jeng Jeng~~~ KISAH 1) Baru2 ini,aq mngalami KESAKITAN YANG TERAMAT SANGAT .Aq tk tau la,mngkin saraf aq terencat ke ape mlm tu tpi yg aq pasti ape yg aq ingat adlh KESAKITAN yg tk trhingga shingga pda satu saat Allah menarik sume KESAKITAN tu dgn membolehkan aq mngeluarkan air mata yg tk trkira .Kesakitan yg aq mksudkan ialah perasaan tk boleh brnafas,kekejangan lengan kanan dan kaki kiri,merasakan sesuatu yg trsngat berat atas dada dan kesakitan yg membakar dlm kerongkong.Itulah kesakitan yg aq alami.Aq tk ingt ape yg trjadi lpas tu tpi aq ingat,lpas aq struggle nyawe2 ikan ats katil ntuk mghadapi KESAKITAN tu,aq mnangis bukan secara diam tetapi dgn kuat. Bagaikan meraung KESAKITAN. Ya,prkataan tu mmg sesuai. MERAUNG KESAKITAN .Aq tk

Ah....I've been dying to get a new number now...I want to have a maxis,017- number that matches with Faqie,that way we won't have to spend much money on each other's number..(>^<)....I've been thinking these days,what would happen when we're all grown ups?? I mean,we would be married,have children,look fat,and spend the rest of our lives serving the family...It gives me the creeps just by thinking of that..Because time does not stop and we certainly couldn't stop it,we just have to catch up with it.I'm a fourteen year old kid,and I speak like I've lived long enough to know the bitter and sweets of life,like a 60-80 years old granny I might say.Maybe it's because I read too many books,and thick history books do make you feel old with knowledge's from the past..There was one book that I fancy the most,I had once read it in my old school's library and I never forget that book ever since.It doesn't have a front page and the front-back

XDD HAH!! This week had mark a day of my life when an extremely good news reached my ears! Know what?? THE STUPID JERK ASSED EX-FIANCEE' OF LUCHIA IS IN THE HOSPITAL~~~!!!!! XDD (BOOYAH~~!!!!) A few nights ago,I received a message from Luchia through mom's phone,she said," Farah!!! (K) is in the hospital!!!" (K) is the symbolic name of that son of a bitch,we don't use actual names because of public problems.The moment I finished reading that message,I squirted an evil laugh,I mean like a 'hohohohoho' laugh.I admit,I was happy.X) To think that he actually got what he deserved after harassing her so much,I can pretty damn well say that I'm damn happy like I had just hit a jackpot.Ha ha ha ha~~ After the message,I called Faqie straight away,I clearly want to hear her expression(mind that we could guess each other's expression just by voices).The first time I called,she didn't pick up,the second time I called,she picked up.So,let's see what hap

Hmmm....Actually,I don't think of posting anything for now but I changed my mind after reading a few of Sarah's new posts in her blog,L0L...Lately,I've been flashbacking about Karen ,I wonder is she alright?? It's been a while since we saw her laughing face..A lot of times have been very hard for us because we don't have the 'special ' relationship like Faqie and I,we can't feel each other's condition,so we have no idea what's happening to each other..I hope she's okay,because she's quite small and easy to be bullied,we-as in me (father), Azwa (mother) and faqie (first daughter)-are really worried about her..It's not like she could or would fight anyone if she's being picked on..T__T I have a bad feeling about her... Oh,by the way,Sarah.You told me that you want me to teach you the 'ha-ha-mask'?? don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing! It's just a fake expression that you make on your face evrytime you

Looks like a bit of my pathetic life had returned to normal,last night I stayed up late around 4-5 am,so I'm pretty charged up today.I talked to Faqie 2 days ago,we were supposed to meet each other at the hostel on weekends but was postponed to 2 weeks ahead because her dad told her to go home for the week.I admit I was frustrated and kinda pissed with her dad,not only that,remembering that her dad was the one who had the beautiful friendship with that son of a bitch's dad and the reason Faqie and that jerkass engaged in the first place reminds me of the dream in the 'yume ka?' post.(T__T)...But still,I was thinking of getting a new number and use my dad's old phone,truthfully I don't want to use mom's number anymore,the risk of too much money is unbearable..hahahaha~~ XP Plus,I could talk to my baby and my queen freely when I have my own number,it's what you call 'privacy talk'.Faqie's voice turned pretty rough,I guess she have been crying

I..I totally can't believe you,Sarah..Why would you do so much for me?? I am the second part in your family,I'm not your siblings or your nearest cousins,because I'm your cousin-to-cousin.But you are so...Willing to sacrifice so much for me,even more than your own family...Why?? Sorry,but curiosity beats everything. Sometimes I wish you were older than me,cause you're way more matured than I am.If you were,then I would have no hesitation to express all of me to you.But since you are my kohai that means I have to show you a good example.Damn,your comment made me half cried.I was so touched...Frankly speaking ,no one have ever asked me that before...And I'm quite surprised that a kid a year younger than I am would asked me that..To be a guardian to the cage,is a hard job..Cause my angels may come later than they were suppose to come,or never at all...And it will be a burden to you,frankly,I'm quite heavy hearted to give you that key.. But,I thank you so much..

Dear Sarah, I appreciate that you have been reading my blog recently,and I purposely wrote this to you in my blog because I knew someday you would read it.A few days ago,I recall of reading your blog that you'll reserve your shoulders for me.That kind of thing,is not needed although thank you for your kindness.I will give you the reasons.You see,you're a year younger than me.That makes a lot of difference.I appreciate your concern for me and you also listens to my problems,I will express my gratitude as long as I can in the greatest way I can manage,but there are also things you should know.I'm an egoist,even though you reserved your shoulders for me,I will never put anything on them.My ego would never let me bow to a younger kid,plus burdening you with the already problems you have on your own.I can stand on my own,even though I can't.I realise that you too have better things to deal in your life which has nothing to do with me,so don't ask me to add the burden to

I'm..really childish..And the only people who knows this side of me is them,Faqihah,Azwa,Hidayah and Sharmeen.And among the five of them,the person who acknowledges me the most would be Faqihah and Azwa as they had seen many sides of me that no other living thing have ever seen before.Though many people seem to know this side of me,but they have never really seen it in reality. I am a childish kid.Also a selfish person.A little egoist and imprudent. There is a story behind this statements.A sad story of a girl.Let me tell you this story,about a girl who is afraid to let go and afraid to be alone. It started with a dream that made her realise she doesn't want to lose her important person.Her sister.She dreamed the most terrible dream,a dream of her sister saying goodbye and vanishes before her whilst she could do nothing even to hear her own voice,calling her sister's name over and over.She was so scared,all the things around her had collapsed,she was all alone and the only

Last night I had a dream.It was a happy dream.The dream I had always wanted to be dreaming about.It started with our usual lives,by 'our' I mean Faqie and I,we started the day with waking up staring at each other's faces and pulling each other's cheeks,I presume that the day would be Thursday then because that was the day that we would usually do that.We greet each other mornings and went off to school,it was weird because it was already 9 am at the time but it seems like the school haven't even started yet...T__T Then we talked like other normal days would be and somehow we ended up having a discussion about spending the one-week-summer-holidays at my place..Me in the dream was also thinking "this is weird.."..But still,she spend it out at my place anyway.The next day we woke up,after having breakfast,she said she wanted to visit my old school. MY PRIMARY SCHOOL. Me in the reality world was shocked,but me in the dream just smiled genuinely and said "

Last night I received a message from Faqie through my mom's phone.Well,I was shocked actually,never thought that fazer could make it through with them.I asked for fazer's help to get their numbers back and since faqie and azwa weren't really the type that talks to guys they don't know,I was pretty worried that he would get kicked before he had a chance to say anything...T___T But then,he made it~~!!!! XD The moment I heard faqie's voice again,it was like I had come back from the dead.I felt so happy! But still,something made me cry that night,first from happiness,the second was from guilt... Faqie: Hello??? farah?? is that you??? (probably didn't recognise me cause I used mom's number) me:yes,baby.It's papa.(we use the 'family' calling lately) faqie:farah??? God,I've been trying to contact your number for the last few weeks and you didn't even responded to me!! what happened?? me:sorry princess,my phone got stolen along with my SIM card s

I...just want to sleep...I want to sleep and live in my dream,where I can run from realities..From this world..True,I've seen many ridiculous acts done by many teenagers and mostly they are the same age as me,my sister said that 14 is the most dangerous year for teenagers because it's the most rebellious,dangerous,confusing year of the teenagerhood.Well,it's my sister's opinion.. Ever since I lost my phone a week ago,I don't know myself anymore,like I've drowned to the way I used to be... In a cage ..Because that phone is the only way for me to keep in touch with faqie and azwa..They don't really opened up to technologies so they don't have any email addresses,I don't really mind with the others because I can still contact them through emails and facebooks..It's them that I worry about,because without them, I'm back to the way I used to be, not me.. I noticed that I've lost a bit of conscious sometimes especially when at school,it feels l

Y0. It's been a while since my last post.Let's just say that I'm too 'busy' with a bit homework and babysitting at home.hahahaha~~~ XD But there's some latest news on Faqie and I want to report it as soon as possible!(report to who exactly????) Finally Faqie decided to open up to me.She decided to tell me about what happened between her and her stupid,non-beneficial,idiotic,big-arsed,dorky,jerky,crazy fiancee'.Man,I really want to spit the cursing on that jerk-arsed guy.He really gets on my nerves whenever Faqie talks about him. >=( Good thing Faqie kicked his stupid big-arsed ass before I do.She kicks better than I do,it's just that she's a bit softy when it comes to him.Well,it's expected actually,since he is her first love and their dads are bestfriends,I'm guessing she is going soft on that shit is because she doesn't want to ruin their dads' relationships...She's having a hard time,trying to restrain herself to not beat th

A few weeks ago,I received a message from Faqie,it was a weird message and it reads.. " I'm looking for something that is missing in me,but I don't know what it is .. There's so many things that you didn't know about me .. I don't even know about my own past..I don't know what makes me forgot all those things but it gave me a feeling that they hurts...I've been looking the missing thing inside me for ages but I can't find it..." At that time,I was wondering why would she thinks something so foolish,yet sometimes so brilliant?? I even wondered if she have an alter ego or something which I accidentally happen to have....T__T|||.. I was thinking of replying her this: "yah! whaddaya mean I don't know a lot about you?! yes,I DO not know about your past,your childhood memories,your childhood friend,I don't even know how your parents look like! but I know you the way you are now,I don't know why but the moment we chatted together in t

-sigh- It's a long relief..I've been having a few problems one after another these few weeks and it's a long relief that I have overcame them,and last night nee-san(sis) came home from her IPG in Terengganu,Malaysia.Finally,it's been a while since I needed help around the house.. (TxT) well,I've been thinking of giving Azwa a call because it's been almost half a year since our last conversation and I really miss her so-very-cute-squeaking voice when she's excited or happy~~ XD Oh,in my fanfics stories,I made Ryushi(me) and Hanon(Azwa) as a couple because Ryushi is a guy,I mean,genuinely-biologically a guy and Azwa and I always use words like couples use when we texts each other,besides we were always being commented by most of our friends that we look like a real couple if I was a boy that is..(-v-)/ Today,I would like to write about Azwa only~ X) Faqie and I met Azwa in February 2009 and we got close in just 1 week because she was accidentally sleeping in t