AkImA No NiKkI

It hurts..My heart hurts..I don't know why,but it feels like being burned to ashes..I don't know how it feels like to be back stabbed by the one you love the most...And it hurts like hell...I don't want to cry over meaningless things,but nevertheless...My tears flow like crazy and I can't do anything to stop them..I feel like I wanna die,because they are not by my side anymore..No one is.Because whenever I'm hurted,they will comfort me..Faqie,what am I suppose to do?? I'm a useless girl even for myself,I don't need these kind of feelings but why do I keep having them?? It hurts,why do it hurts,faqie?? I'm not good in interpreting my feelings,I'm not good in analysing my heart,but you always get them right for me,you always know what I'm feeling or had felt,you always know what I'm thinking or thoughts,and you always know how to spell it for me..I'm not as good as you are,Faqie,I'm a loser on these things..I don't mind being hurted

last night before 31st of August,I called faqie.Her voice,gives me the almost same calming,angelic voice as nee-san usually does when I was still in the hostel.I haven't called her since last month,man,it was THAT long?? I want to remember our conversation last night so I thought this might work.. F:hello?? farah,you there?? Me:faqie.. F:farah?? is there something wrong?? you messaged me that there's something important you wanna talk about.. Me:faqie,didn't I also messaged you that I will call you tonight about that?? F:I couldn't resist my curiosity so I called you first.So,what's wrong?? did you got hurt?? who did this to you?? why are your voice sounds like you're crying?? Me:n..no..I intend to tell you about it tonight but,since you had already called... F:what is it?? just tell me.. Me:my heart hurts,faqie..he cheated on me.. F:what happened,farah?? Me:a few days ago,he borrowed my MP3 charger to charge his phone and he left it at my house.After I charged

I MISS THEM I MISS THEM I MISS THEM I MISS THEM,OH I SO FREAKING MISS THEM RIGHT NOW~~!!!! HOW MANY DAYS IT HAVE BEEN SINCE I LAST CALLED THEM,2 WEEKS?????? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!! -screamed to the top of my longs and take a few minutes to breath or die due to not enough air- GAAAAHHHH~~~!!!! -a shorter scream as I am short of air here- I MISS THEM,I NEED THEM BY MY SIDE FOR EVERY SECOND OF MY FREAKING DAMN LIFE~~~!!!!! IF THIS FEELING OF MISS IS GOING TO BE THE CAUSE OF MY COMING DEATH I'D RATHER TO NOT HAVE ANY FEELINGS AT ALL~~~!!!! -shouted the almost dying noona of the house- SOMEONE SAVE ME~~~ AND I'D LIKE THAT 'SOMEONE' TO BE THEM PLEASE~~~~~ I DON'T GIVE A DAMN SHIT OF HOW I LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT THEM TO BE BY MY SIDE AGAIN~~~!!!!! -looks like the noona of the house had just gone deep down to the earth and we would know just by hearing the hysterical laugh and cries that echoes in the house of the Wan Yahya family- I

Okay,new post! I know my English is bad and I'm terribly sorry for those who have read my blog..Plus,I created this thing for one purpose and only one,to let them know how much I miss them..That I will always love them for the rest of my life.. True,life here in my hometown isn't so bad cuz I have my family and some friends at school..But I still misses them because we used to live under one roof which is at the hostel,we woke up together,walked to school together,had recess together,even slept together and almost everything that we did in our everyday lives,we did it together.That what makes our friendship special and I know that we realized that our bond are tighter than we think..Besides,frankly speaking,I've never contacted any of my old friends after graduated from primary school unless they contacted me first.After I met Faqie,I thought that this relationship is just the same like the others,but when I moved back to my hometown,I realised that I began to call her ever