AkImA No NiKkI

Olas. So, about that last post, I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. In here, I do that sometimes. Write about things of the past and what has happened since. It's not that I think about it all the time because that would've been unhealthy and it'll be like I'm holding on to the past that which have already gone and I wouldn't have been able to do anything to change it. It's like I said, sometimes, I have bad days. Of course, it led me to reminisce those things but other than feeling depressed for a couple of hours and crying myself to sleep, it was nothing a few tears can't fix. I ended up reading angsty Stony fics at the end of the day anyway. It's more like I need to remind myself of what has happened, so that I could reflect on it, and see my progress from then on. Yes, I was sad, irrevocably so, but I was sad for the past me. Reading my notes, I was sad for her, that she had to go on with so little faith. What she had to end...

Hello. Two nights ago, sis and I were talking on the phone, me listening out to her rants as she unloads a bunch of shit that's been dropped on her head recently. I can tell she had used the residual energy to caught up on her fandoms, since we were near high as fuck spouting fandom references like rainbows out of a pot of gold. It was awesome. She persuaded me to spend the weekends with her, and after discussing things a bit with my roomie, I decided it was worth playing hooky for once. Consider it a 'family emergency'. I missed the thing we always do with changing from one ship to another regardless of the different fandoms they are from. We were talking about Hannibal because when we're discussing plain murder, Hanny is pretty much the best to go.  It's like what I always say, if you're planning a murder, make sure you get away with it. Moriarty's too big a picture to get involved with anyway. ( Although cases in SPN and Sherlock could be helpfu...

It's been 6 days since I arrived well and safe at home from PALAM. My break ends on this 16th, which, now I realized, is 4 days away. Holy shit, I didn't even realize that till now lol wtf. Time is like sand around here sriously.  I've only been doing what I always do at home. Chores, read, binge-watch series, chores, and read again.  Speaking of reading, since I finished Mr Mercedes by Stephen King a while ago, I started on Carry On by Rainbow Rowell , the author of Fangirl and Eleanor&Park . I couldn't put it down and ended up finishing it in one day. Like a frickin addict. I finished Mr Mercedes in several weeks, not because I was busy (okay, half of it) or I read slow, it's because I try to savor my time with each book and spend more time with them personally instead of going through each page and to the next like an addict who's itching for a fix. I'm ashamed to say that I couldn't do the same with Carry On , because it's s...

Heya people.  So, it ain't news that I'm a big fan of you-don't-fuck-with-me-I-don't-fuck-with-you kinda deal because it's common sense. duh. Obviously we're lacking that a lot these days with the enormity of stupid humans growing in number and population. I don't normally come off as bitchy and mean on the first meeting (save for if we met in a bad situation, probably) because let's be honest, I don't know first shit about you so believe me, I don't got no reason to put you down or anything. Like, dude, ain't nobody got time for that shit. So when I really am being bitchy and mean to you? Means you better sprint the fuck back to your memory lanes and search for the potentially wrong thing you did/said. People are such idiots on the net sometimes. Just because you can be fucking anonymous and invisible and shit doesn't mean you can be a dickbagged moron. Net society is still a society even in forms of data and codes and pixels a...

FEELINGS! FEELINGS EVERYWHERE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FEELS I'M HOLDING IN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I FINISHED HANNIBAL SEASON 3 AND GUESS WHAT, HANNIGRAM IS FUCKING CANON!! IT'S A MARVELOUS DAY TO BE ALIVE!! asfgdhkjlasjdhhf!!! Okay. I'll reel it in now. *takes deep breath*   *exhales* Before, I'd expressed my doubt for this ship in earlier post back when I started watching Hannibal TV series. I saw it as what normal people would've seen it, a twisted obsession gained by manipulation, and while it is not exactly untrue, the series gradually shows Will's character development. And it's beautiful. It's heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Destiel is my OTP but Hannigram is one of my ships and having it BEING FUCKING CANON BEFORE DESTIEL IS DOING THINGS TO MY INSIDES. That said, Bryan Fuller is truly a magnificent and wonderful human being. I want to write an ode to his magnificence and string poetry about him in my books. Heck I DID string poetry about h...

Yes, it's an issue. I legitimately have anger issues.  Can I help it that I can easily get angry like one particular Bruce Banner? Of course.  Why do you think I close my eyes trying to refrain myself from spewing colorful profanities towards the object of my anger or worse yet, trying to break someone's nose? I don't remember having so much anger as a child. Mostly I was quiet and do my own thing. But I do remember how anger was -IS- the easiest emotion I could pull up if it was ever needed. And boy I did need a lot. For some reason, people actually wanted me to lift up a leg and break their bones. Maybe because I never showed much emotion. They poke me, and that's what warranted their death certificate. It's not my fault the boys were too stupid to know they can never win a fight with me having height and strength advantage and the girls (bitchy ones) were too dumb to admit they cried soon as I opened my mouth in primary school.   Having to d...

Drama performance was today.  And it was fine, by my standards. We did okay. And it has also been yet another enlightening event of why I fucking hate people. Yes, the script isn't ours. But the punchlines are. And you people stole it from us. Making us look like idiots on stage. Therefore, thank you for empowering my justified reason on why the fuck I stayed away from the unnecessary contact of human beings in society. Because of such existence. All those 6 fucking weeks practicing and rehearsals, wasted into giggles and shit. Our energy and time. Those ideas were -are- Amelia's. At the very least they could have cited the fucking thing. *sarcasm duly noted* Of course not all of them were the culprits or partners in crime.  I was so fucking frustrated and pissed beyond measure. They were lucky I have control -what left of it- of my temper else I would've definitely break something.  Their faces, probably. I don't know if Sir noticed it. Don...

Fucking people. you know,God gave us this very awesome special gift called BRAIN and we're supposed to THINK with that instead of using our butts .Do not waste such beautiful gift! Now I see this place for what it really is. A hellhole . At first I was kind of weird,thinking, why the fuck are these Muslim females not wearing hijab? A voice suspiciously sounds like Onee-san would say ,"Islam atas name je tu." and then I would think, Islam REQUIRES female Muslims to cover our 'aurat' and I see that SOME of these creatures pray but if they pray,then why do they nor cover their 'aurat' ?? I know what their regular excuse if asked of this question( no doubt they've been asked this quite a LOT) - "tak sampai hidayah la you.." or "it's a choice! Everybody has one!" or "belum lagi kot...nanti2 la.." or "why do YOU care?" or "mind your own fucking business you little bitch." and so on. Of...

Season 2 of Hannibal makes drastic developments in the plots. The good news is,I've stopped being grossed out by Hanny's raw cooking of human insides.Or is that actually a bad news? Meh.  *shrugs* Season 1 didn't show much of Hanny,zooming into the left and right of Will's already-unstable-and-pushed-to-the-limit mind. Not saying it's a bad plot,rather awesome really because that leads to the understanding of later on in the next season. Season 2 is more of an enlightenment of Hanny's behaviour.That move with Alana was a really dick move,pretty sure even Peter won't go that far but at least he's not a cannibal but then again,who knows? He's called Crazy Peter for a reason. Jack is really slow for an FBI and is denial his default setting because for some reason even Jackass Frederick could see the obvious. Alana is the stupid bitch who hops back and forth like a whore.First Will,now Hanny.Next should be Jack after his wife died of freaking c...

At this wee hours of morning,I'm pretty sure my brain have stopped functioning therefore leaving my mouth to ramble all I want.Much like Stiles,really. Except that I'm not half deep in shit to save some huge ungrateful werewolf asses.I literally have hard time believing Google actually holds all the answers to mankind which by the way,way too exaggerating because really. Google? No offense,they're awesome as fuck and all but not to that point. I'm in the middle of watching Hannibal season 2 and just closed my last fill of Sterek pack bonding family fluffy fics.Tell me those two combinations are weird beyond belief. *roll eyes* I thought about the whole snapping and depression and humiliation thing before with Mom and Dad and Onee-san.The thing about my result. I suppose it's a bit immature of me to act so dramatic over the whole thing.My insecurities are my own case.I wasn't supposed to blame them for it. More often than not,I tend to feel inadequate i...

I need something new to obsess with. If not,I might as well wallow in some make-believe angst bullshit just to pass the time.Nothing passes through my mind and I waddled through each day like a mindless robot,continuing my routines repeatedly. Onee-san hasn't been home for more than a month and I can't remember the last time she came home.God,I miss her so much. I suppose she must be suffering with all the rackets at her IPG. *sigh* And I guess asking her to take care of herself would be too much because that would be like asking a rock to float on it's own accords.She must be stressed out of her mind. Me on the other hand,is completely on the contrary.Well,minus the anxiety about the next coming results 10 days to come.And my driving test 4 days after that.My practice is going way out of hand and I'm not very much convinced whether or not I would pass.Which means I'll probably not.Gah. Though I suppose this is a peace I should make the most of entirel...

I just finished Hannibal and the second season will start this year.I suppose it's relatively new since it was out last year.I'll try for the movie next . I wonder has it come out. It's a crime psychology(of a psychopath-well,one in particular) so the conclusion about the whole thing can be discussed later but for now, Hannigram . Hannigram stands for the shipping of Hannibal Lecto r and Will Graham .And you know what? I don't see it.The spark.The chemistry.Anything.I don't see it. How in the world did this shipping exist? I mean,Hanny (I started calling him that "Hannibal"s too long) manipulated Will and framed him for the crimes HE did.He manipulated every one of them and he had the advantage of Will's unstable state of mind. No wonder he's a damn psychiatrist.And a psychopath.And a cannibal. Cannibalism is a process of eating one's own kind,like fish.Big fish eat small fish,yes? Under some drastic circumstances,it may be par...