AkImA No NiKkI

It's one of those blessed good nights. The sky is starry, the moon is out, there is a cool breeze going in and out and dancing across the room pirouetting their way out the window in the living room where I sit in front of my laptop at the table, sipping my sweet lemon tea, warmth from freshly boiled water creeping through my body. I thought about changing out of the tank top into something comfier, but I figured the soft pastel of blue and white matches my emotions for now so I leave it be.  I couldn't find my soft pink kitty paws sweater anyway. It's been an ass-numbing day, despite waking up well-rested and having breakfast with good coffee with Jack on the phone -with the townhall meeting made obligatory for final year students. Granted, it lit up some educational lightbulbs with good Q&As but it was the notion that mattered. My ass was numb. This week has been hot because of the haze, global warming, and the slow easy puttering sound of our earth wheez...

I've actually watched this anime twice in the past few months and tonight is my 3rd time rewatching it. For some reason, I just love this anime lol It isn't like Haikyuu or Yuri On Ice where they specify or subtly imply the shipping game, it is a wholesome anime of friendship and teacher-student relationship. Though to be fair, I may have been indulging a lot of the latter lately, what with also rewatching Gokusen season 1 and season 2... Although there IS a subtle implication that there COULD be more than meets the eye if pushed, but it's very very small and common, unlike the ones shown in Haikyuu where it's plain to obvious to people who have more than decent analyzing skills. It could also be that I have a plain soft spot for main characters with Heine's personality... My favorite type of personality for main characters, to be honest. I loved the first time I watched it, but I feel as if I didn't pay enough thought to how the dynamics are neatly...

So, a special post for the beloved's 26th birthday! Since I just got home yesterday morning, we'll be doing something together just for the sake of old times because lord knows we haven't had nearly enough time with each other sine the semester started. Looking forward to it! ^^ These past few months have been way too stressful for the both of us, with schedules and events lining up after another. We keep our conversations where we can, for me, that would be gaps between classes and such. If we could even have a 5 minute call, that was good enough with the restrictions we have.  Considering my classes end way too late after his worktime and his workdays don't line up with my weekends, it was straining to say the least. I missed him way too much. Clingy, yeah, I know, I'm aware. But now that semester's over and my 2 months holidays begin, we can rectify the time we lost! So fucking many movies I have on the list for us to binge XD Heck we might go and fin...

So. It's been a while. Pardon, while I can say I've been busy, that would be a lie, so I'd rather not. To be honest, I haven't had anything to write, thus my long absence. Who knew balancing mental health with social life and work life and love life provides you with little less to no time to muck in your thoughts? Nah, those are excuses on my part.  I do have things to write about. It's just that most of them recently have been, ah, private in the way that they involve and intertwine with someone else's, therefore it would be imprudent of me to expose them.  Had it be my own, you have no restriction to how deep you can go, depending on who you are. It's well into mid-term now and work are piling steady on up as much as the stress of dealing with the disliked lecturers who comes with it. It bums me out deeply how there's nothing to look forward to academically for classes. There are relaxing ones, and then there are the stressing ones. Just...

So, it's been a week or so since 4th semester started and already I wish for it to end. For several reasons, including how I wish I didn't cave into the guilt trip and registered in Group B instead because this is a fucking mess right off the bat with these girls, I swear. The sigh of an everlasting annoyance is not unfamiliar by now. The fondness these days has made way for exasperation and irritation mostly. Also, the I-Learn site which we use to regularly update our information for assignment tasks and guidelines and lecture slides was recently "updated" and is still in configuration which means a fucking pain in the butthole. Lecturers expect us to have these things by the next class and I can't even access the fucking shit and this grates on my patience  WHICH I DO NOT HAVE AT THIS POINT SO HELP ME GOD. On top of that, there aren't any interesting or good subjects to look forward to this semester and the schedule is nothing short of torture be...

So...updates. It's 4th day of Eid (Eid Mubarak, everyone~!) and things are finally looking up. With my parents, and with my void memories. The former part is good and awesome, though whilst the latter is a "bit not good", I think it's a positive change than before. I'm going back to college 1st of July and after that we have final exams coming up, thankfully just 3 papers. I should stock up my meds for end of semester break, too. After being stuck 26 hours on a fucking bus on my way home for Eid, Dad picked me up around 2 a.m as per usual. He kept saying something about patience and tribulations, I just nodded and hummed, letting him say his piece. When we were getting close to home, he finally got around to sorta, kinda, in a roundabout my-family-way, kind of apologized about the 'crazy' fiasco last time. I understand the meaning, though. Because that's when I thought, "Oh, so this is where Sis got it from." Ha. I felt quite close ...

The phone vibrated violently with the alarms loudly going off with the text flashing "WAKE UP FOR CLASS DAMMIT YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE" beside her pillow, messy black hair fanning out the sides like gravity demands it per physics. She rolled towards the sound, face pinched unpleasantly at the wake-up call and moved her hands, patting around the general area of the phone with her eyes closed. Her roommate, all ready and pristine for her morning class rolled her eyes at the all too familiar sight. She moved to wake her. "Jamie. James, wake up. D'ya have class this morning?" she asked, close to the not-awake mass of grumbling body on the grey-sheets bed but not touching her.  The aforementioned grumbling body -Jamie, apparently- grunts not-quite an answer, and shifts her head slightly towards the voice of her roommate and slurred, "Nnnoo..ain't got'nyclass till 2..". The roommate nodded her acknowledgement and left the still-grumbling body b...

Right, so I had a minor episode yesterday during marching practice because apparently, I'd been resorting to my old habit of looking down towards God's green earth (or in this case, black road tar) instead of straight forward and when that is done in a period of time in those certain conditions, you are susceptible to fainting spells. Thus here we are. Thankfully, it was just a fainting spell and not a full-blown panic attack. I don't know if I could survive another wave of humiliation since the last one when I was 13. No need to call the nursery, folks! Ahaha. The fainting spells, I don't particularly mind. I'm used to them (that time when I broke my glasses's lense, and that time I bruised my back falling on my ass, and that time I was saved from faceplanting on a rock, etc etc etc) though I admit it's been a while since I had them.  The dry-heaving afterwards, on the other hand, is new. I suppose you could chalk it up to nausea from ...

It's February and we're safely well past the flood season. Temperature's hot in the afternoon but it settles very nicely with a breeze and shades as the evening creeps in. It's been a week since I started class observation at SMK TM (1) a.k.a my old highschool meaning there's another week to go before it ends. Thankfully, the process on the first day went smoothly for me. I did have to wait a couple of hours in the morning because there was a Going Back To School ceremony in the halls and the principal had to entertain guests before he comes into the office but soon as I showed him the letter and explained everything, there was little to no problem with the rest. I was referred to the PKP (Right Administration Secretary) right away to settle my schedule and my teacher trainer.  I went around introducing myself, or, re-introducing myself, in any case, to the teachers. Most of them remembers me as a familiar face and I feel honored. I remember them too, well, ...

Tomorrow morning is the last paper for the Finals of my 2nd term and it's my worst subject, Principles of ELT (PELT). Let's all hope I don't crash it and burn. There's a briefing for Syntax 2-weeks school observation thing where I think our lecturer is supposed to give us the guidelines and the formal papers, but then, I haven't packed shit because of PELT study (I'm too nervous about failing it to even divide my time in between) and I told Sis to pick me up (because luggage) right that evening. I hope Madam'll make it quick. Man, I had an annoying headache last night I ended up sleeping on the chair for 3 hours after 8 freakin' P.M. Roomie told me to sleep on the bed 'cause I'll get a crick on my neck in that position but I already tried lying down, twice, and it intensified my headache if nothing else, and I ended up falling asleep when I tried going back to my notes. After waking me up three times and me keep falling back asleep on the...

I had the best time out with Sis and Bro and (unborn) nephew last 3 days. ^^ They picked me up at college on the afternoon of 7th and we went to Subang to check in to a budget hotel, not unlike the ones Sis and I stayed at when we went to Shah Alam for my degree interview at In-Tech. Sis wanted to check out the new Bookalicious store she followed on IG at the Summit Mall in Subang and naturally, I'd be tagging along because BOOKS! CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF BOOKS! Hehe x3 I really had fun during the whole time we were out and together, whether it's the crazy conversations in the car or trying to choose dinner on a weird named food on the menu. I'm starting to like my big brother as well. That's quite a big confession isn't it? Nearly 6 months ago, I've only referred to him as "a stranger" or "the stranger" and then later, after the marriage and after sis and I made up, he was referred to as "her husband" or "bro-in-law...

Thank God for 123movies for uploading the whole ep because by God I've been sweeping through Google list for an on9 stream even while making sociology notes in between. Thank you, multi-tasking. Here comes the screaming rant. (takes deep breath) JOHN YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD WAS IT THE HAIR IT WAS THE HAIR ISN'T IT IT WAS THE HAIR THAT CHANGED YOU TO A FUCKING BASTARD ISN'T IT OOOHHHHHHH BOI YOU GON GET IT I MEAN I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE MARY THAT MUCH BECAUSE SHE SHOT SHERLOCK DUHH BUT MOST OF ALL I DO NOT LIKE TO SEE SHERLOCK IN PAIN BOTH EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY SO DON'T YOU DARE JOHN DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE PUT THIS ON HIM I SWEAR YOU ARE A FUCKING ARMY DOCTOR YOU ARE THE HEART TO SHERLOCK'S BRAIN SO DON'T YOU HURT HIM JOHN DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE DON'T YOU PUSH HIM AWAY LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE SHERLOCK LOVES YOU YOU WHO FIRST ACCEPTED HIM AND GAVE HIM A SOUL AND BECAME HIS HEART NOT YOU WHO GAVE HIM THE ABILITY TO LOVE PAST BEYO...

Happy New Year of 2017, everyone. There. That's the extent of my greetings to summarize the end of an old year to a new one because frankly, I don't feel any difference. It just feels like any other same date like previous new years.  We're in the middle of Finals to end our 2nd term and even after that, there isn't much time for end-of-term breaks because of the 2 weeks observation thing. Granted, I've chosen a school close to home so it might as well feel just like I'm going back to school. Right now, I'm sitting my ass going through notes and slides to prepare for the next paper in 2 days alone in my room because roomie went back to her brother's house in KL. New year started off with me, my feet up on the desk, dirty tupperware from dinner by the side, quarter empty hot chocolate in hand, laptop open with multitude equal of sociology notes and recent anime episodes. Huzzah. (deadpan) 2016 was when I just got into PALAM early Feb and t...

Next two days begins the final week for submitting papers, assignments, and presentations. After that it's study week for 5-6 days and then Finals. This week has been rushing enough lol I called Mom and Dad to see if I should go home for study week but I'm still kind of on the nose about it. I doubt there'd be much studying going on at home, but I'm hesitating to spend that much days at college for no reason. Roomie has already decided she's going back home so if I decide the latter, I'd be alone for nearly a week. Might get a little stir-crazy, even for me. Maybe I could spend them at a nearby friend's place? Nah. Too much trouble on both sides. Reminded that school was over for teachers, I've been calling home more frequently than before because I know that all of them would be at home anyways. I love that it gets rowdy when my call was in good timing like when they're all in the kitchen together or something. It brings a familiar feeling....

I AM DYING I AM POSITIVELY DYING I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BUT EP 10 JUST CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND WE GOT MONDAY AND TUESDAY OFF SO I FIGURED IT'D BE FINE TO FINALLY BINGEWATCH HAIKYUU!! SEASON 3 KARASUNO VS SHIRATORIZAWA AND I JUST FINISHED BINGE-WATCHING IT THAT'S WHY THIS POST IS GOING TO BE IN FULL CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I AM SCREAMING FAIRLY WARNED ALSO THERE WILL BE NO PUNCTUATIONS WHATSOEVER  BECAUSE I AM SCREAMING AND DYING AND WHEEZING AND SPAZZING ALSJSSDUFYURFYBGCTYBGCDSBJSJDGHSDFGKSDEYRETIRYTYRUODJHJDFBJSDBCJBCBVJDGFHJGUGSSHHFHRUGURYRYTUROEPWODASKDJDJHFDBVNBVNCXVBJFHGHJGRYSEURYYTIUAKHSDJGADFHGGASKDLFLKJSDKKJFHRTURTIRFUSADJHDKJAJKSAKJFBVCNBVNBVNCBVNBVJHFGGFSUKJDAHFJDBMNBVMNCVHJDGFKJGKSFGLDSHGKJDBVBVMNCBVNCMBVHJBV OOHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOODDDDDDDDD MY SOOOOOONNNSSSSS MY BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS TSUKKI YOU SALTY SON OF A MAMA CROW I AM SO FUCKING PROUD HOW HOW HOW THE HELL IS MY HEART SO FULL AND HAPPY AND I AM CRYING DEAR GOD I AM ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY CR...

Midterm is starting. I'm still at college and my bus ticket is tonight so I'm taking it easy after this week's rush. Roomie is already packing up as I type in these words, empty tupperware smelling of instant noodle beside me and a half-empty mug of coffee slowly turning lukewarm on the other side. Since midterm's only a week, I'm not bringing home anything much other than clothes and books. Maybe the smaller luggage so I could leave it at home to make packing at the end of finals easier. It's been a little after 2 months since I've gone home. I miss my family. Thunder is just roaring outside as I glance out the window every so often. Our view overlooks the cafe and the 5th block with a fair share of the trees surrounding at the back of aforementioned block. I think there's a picture of it in my IG somewhere... [ This one. ] It's 3 p.m but the cloud's not letting up. It's gonna be raining soon. This predicament is strangely ...