AkImA No NiKkI

Soooo... Today marks my first final term exam since I first rolled in to University! Yeay! The first paper was CTU081, Islamic Studies. I can't tell whether I fucked up real bad or just bad but it might be somewhere along that line. LOL I kinda don't care. Hey, who's to say I didn't spend a night memorizing the textbook( with the notes in it)? Besides, I hold onto what my primary school teacher always say, never look back at the past paper once you're done. Look at the next paper instead. Just to make sure you won't screw up twice. *grin* Oh, I suppose I should tell Fabio that the word "babe" derives from the word "baby" and you don't actually call your friends that. Unless they're a special kind of friend.  The one you go on romantic dates and have romantic feelings for. (ew.) But then again, I'd have to go through the trouble of explaining him all of that so I thought, to hell with it. Not like it gives any mean...

YATTTAAAAAA~!!!!! XDDDD ITS OVER ~!!! FINALLY OVER ~!!!!! XDDD SPM IS FINALLY OVER~!!!! XDDD I am now officially a free person~!!! X"D *sob*sob* so touching.... (TTwTT) The moment I've been waiting for all my sad sad highschool life..The end of it! XD  Can't believe its all over now..xD no more freaking addclasses..no more teachers..tho that one's likely to be missed .Can't say I won't miss having other people shoulder the burden over our petty problems. Hahaha~ xPP Besides,the teachers at SMK TM(1) are all very dedicated and loving persons,unlike most people who have the guts to call themselves 'educators' but were really only after the satisfaction of driving kids to live their life their way.Like leeches.Or parasites . Those teachers are the very reason we all get to answer our papers quite well,if I may say so.They earned our respect ,our loyalty ,and our love .For every single sensei that had taught me,thank you so much. Rahimah-s...

Okay,that is IT .I've had enough with these overgrown ridiculousness that disguises itself in the form of so-called LOVE .As Onee-san had been repeating herself for the last 15minutes and which I agreed ;we scorn everything there is about love. This is bullshit. I can't even have crushes anymore after this.I thought crushes were safe as long as they didn't come true and with that in mind,I never thought of an alternative if they ever do.Which is so fucking bullshit. Note to self: never grow feelings for those unrelated by blood. God I wish there're buttons for that and screw it if I sound very much like Tony right now because it's impossible for the guy to not rub off on me when I've been reading his fanfics with Captain freaking America aka Steve Rogers for at least a good couple of months now.Yes,I so very wish there's an 'OFF' button for these things. This is a mistake waiting to be done.A disaster waiting to be called. I shoul...

I have trust issues.Believe me,I do. Outside than family,the people I trust are those of who I'd let myself been seen plain and bared without the masks I use to protect me. That's why,I want to do this alone. Well,not entirely alone since I have God with me but I mean,alone without people who I have to use another 'me' for. It's easy outside when I can always turn into an alter ego because it's automatic when I step out of the house.It's also automatic around people. I don't think of doing it,I just do it out of instinct.Like a sea anemone would do when confronted by a tresspasser.They shut out. They were a great help and I appreciate it,but I'd rather not to have to be an alter ego inside my own house.It's already tiring that I have to do it outside,too. Onee-san trusts me. Maybe not much,but at least there's more than 0.01%.She worries,just like Mom,but her trust at the very least I wouldn't say overcome,but rather passes it...

I sent a few early preparations of something like a last will last night to few who I consider precious to me in my life.It was nothing big,just some sorry-s and all that.Maybe it was a reaction from something that Mom said. They're leaving for Hajji this Wednesday,leaving the house for me alone.Mukhlis and Mia will stay with my aunt,Muzakkir and Onee-san at their hostels. A friend will come and stay with me on school nights with her parents' consent and Onee-san will come home with the kids during weekends. hmmm..... Mom was dead worried about me staying home,even threatened to get me a freaking babysitter if I don't find someone to stay over with. Thank God I did. I'm okay with all this stuff,but watching Mom fusses over my safety kinda got me worried,too.The neighbourhood's not really that safe.I get why's she worried. Well,my house HAD been broken into,twice.And so did my neighbour,once.Though nobody got hurt,we did lose some valuables...

Yoo~ Minna~ it's been so long~ and as always,I have the most awful sense of timing to post.LOL~ see,I'm in the middle of exam week. And I was just wondering 2 days ago of how long has it been since I last surfed the Internet.Considering I had quite some time to think about those mundane things while recovering.Ahh,recovering,by what I mean from sickness. I just got down with a fever few days ago.But I'm okay now.My system's antibodies fighting back.^^ I just finished reading Onee-san's posts that I've been missing out.Gee,Nee-san,you haven't taken a single word of my advices. *sigh* Of course,that's expected from you. I'm just a bit stricken that I've never heard any of this at home.And weirded out.Why would you think you're alone? You have lots of people loving you and accepting you for who you are yet you still chase those who had threw you aside. You know,for a 20 years old lady,you seem to be acting more like a 17 years old ...

During my stay at KB for 5 days,it was a lot of fun. XDD For the first 3 days of my stay at the PSPN Centre's hostel,I met Lyana , Anis and Wahyu . I met Lyana before,at the NILAM district competition and she was glad to see that someone she knew ended up there with her. 3 days together at the hostel seemed like we've known for a month.Hahaha~ I suppose being together 24-hours does that to you.  After I won 2nd place,I thought about staying a little longer,to have a chance to meet Qie,Wa and possibly Azer too.Plus,my classes were canceled for 2 days. It was a bit of an effort,to persuade Mom and Dad to let me stay,but it worked.My uncle lend me a place to stay for the night.^^ As it was,I met Qie. She was as lovely and cute as she had always been.She hasn't changed a bit. My princess . I got her to stay at my place for a fortnight,though it was a bit of a fight.She was never allowed to stay anywhere outside of her house,even to her granparents',so that com...

My first post in 2013. Hey,y'all. I'm currently taking a break from homework. I'm doing my BM komsas pholio.*rolls eye* Well,I'm 17 this year.Aaand I suppose there's not much to say about that.The studies go on like usual and there isn't much changes than last year's. Except this year,my ex is my classmate.Bummer.(=____=)-o Akiko called me out about ignoring him in class.Well,what was I supposed to do,talk to him? About what,his dickness? He ignored me first so I'm practically innocent,okay? If he talks to me,I'll talk to him.Yeeesh,Akiko.(T^T") That piece of shit of school is driving me nuts.Stop with the political programs already and let us study in peace! We come to school to learn other stuff you morons not to participate in your stupid petty ridiculous politic schemes that had nothing to do with us. Stupid stupid stupid stupid politic adults. Just die already. Ahhh,I don't want to be an adult.(-____-)-o So troublesome. ...

Okay.I'm freaking out.I don't even know why. Last night I got such a nightmare I talked in my sleep and only one person does that and it definitely isn't me. I think Nee-san heard me and I think. ...I heard me too.I was pretty loud. :P Ugh. This's worse than when I freaked out from that trauma I got during my time in the hostel 4 years ago when a couple of stupid seniors decided to play a stupid prank on me by sexually assaulting me in the dorm. They were trying to pull off my freakin' pants .(T___T) Good thing I kicked them off and just in time to save my conscience too. Sadly my pants didn't survive that attack.They freakin' teared it off into two pieces .Can you imagine the situation? It was mortifying .And we were struggling on my bed .Nobody in the dorm except for us and it was after night prep . So,yeah.It got me traumatized for a while. But this..This is worse. Maybe I'm going nuts. Y'noe,that sudden moment when you just feel l...

Gah. It's December already. -____-|||| Damn. Don't feel like starting school. Nononononononononononono~~~~ D"x Feels like sleeping a long dream. And obviously one I don't wanna wake up from.(T____T) What're ya lookin' at? I've always been a lazy brat.Hmph! (=^=)-o I miss Qie,Wa and Azer soooo much!! Dx I was supposed to go to KB and meet Qie,then we'd plan a surprise together for Wa at her house..We had it all planned out.. *sigh* But then,because of some...well,technical problems,I couldn't go there. Qie must be so dissapointed.. She was so ecstatic about my visit for months..(TT^TT) My poor baby.. Maybe I'd take a car license next year and drive there myself.It's a long shot,I know.But I'd take anything considered by now. I just missed them so much. At the very least,I'd love to meet them before we graduate from high school.I don't want to leave my high school life without any memories of them. My most belove...

Okay,I'm seriously freakin' out.With LOVE . FOR KLAINE !!!!! xDDDD Klainer 's on high here,so the usual, DON'T LIKE DON'T READ . FAIR WARNING .   I AM IN LOOOOOVVVEEEEE~~~!!!!! XDDDDD BLAINE ANDERSON AND KURT HUMMEL IS OBVIOUSLY THE CUTEST MOST AWESOMEST COUPLE IN DA WOORRLLLDDD~~~~~!!!! X333 Oh my God,it's like YunJae and the Cassiopeia and the perfection of love all over again!!  I cannot recall of the enormous time spent giggling like idiots everytime I stumble upon the most incredible fanfics.(ov0) I've just read a fanfic where Darren Criss (Blaine's actor) swapped his body with the real Blaine like that one episode in Supernatural. The author mentioned it in the fic but I didn't really get it.I only got Supernatural until season 4.Now's like,almost season 7 already! (0___o) Haha! If you're a close acquaintance of mine,then this is one side of me that you will see when I'm absolutely ecstatic. XDDD Jumping up ...

Hello people! xD I'm in a very super duper good mood lately,even with final exam's 'round the corner.xP Why?  Because Qie and Wa have been contacting me a lot lately! It was on one nite when I suddenly received Qie's message.And right when my mind flashed her name,too! LOLLL~~!! xDD Since then,we've been contacting each other on regular basis now~ x33 Now that I think of it,we haven't contacted each other at all this year.(=^=") But one sad news. Wa have got herself a BOYFRIEND .(O______o) *shock* Well,if I say I don't mind that's OBVIOUSLY a lie 'cause I DO mind. Tho Azer and Qie have assured me that the guy is nice and all,I couldn't bring myself to trust it. *sigh*  As long as she's happy and nothing bad happens to her,I guess that's the best I could hope for.  Besides,Qie's there and I relied on her to watch out for her "mother" . That made me feel better.Because Qie's twices violent than I a...

This is the second time this month I cried. I've been crying a lot lately,is it puberty?? Hahaha~ Well,I suppose it's normal.. I miss Wa and Qie and my guys. Wa and Qie especially . I write diaries,though not so often.I try my best to keep it up-to-date. Writing is a way for me to remember . The same way drawing is.Sometimes I draw incidents that I want to remember so that I won't forget.Like a picture. A photo. Sometimes it's just my wishes. When I read back that green diary Wa and Qie had bought for me 4 years ago,I couldn't help but cry. I've gotten the hang of crying alone now. It hurts,as usual,but it doesn't matter.I just want to cry,that's all. The happy memories,with Wa and Qie made me thought of them.I couldn't bother them now ,in the middle of the night. I knew how Qie's temper when disturbed from her sleep and Wa never keeps her phone near her when she goes to bed. Even after 4 years,I remember their habits as...