AkImA No NiKkI

The phone vibrated violently with the alarms loudly going off with the text flashing "WAKE UP FOR CLASS DAMMIT YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE" beside her pillow, messy black hair fanning out the sides like gravity demands it per physics. She rolled towards the sound, face pinched unpleasantly at the wake-up call and moved her hands, patting around the general area of the phone with her eyes closed. Her roommate, all ready and pristine for her morning class rolled her eyes at the all too familiar sight. She moved to wake her. "Jamie. James, wake up. D'ya have class this morning?" she asked, close to the not-awake mass of grumbling body on the grey-sheets bed but not touching her.  The aforementioned grumbling body -Jamie, apparently- grunts not-quite an answer, and shifts her head slightly towards the voice of her roommate and slurred, "Nnnoo..ain't got'nyclass till 2..". The roommate nodded her acknowledgement and left the still-grumbling body b...

I AM DYING I AM POSITIVELY DYING I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BUT EP 10 JUST CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND WE GOT MONDAY AND TUESDAY OFF SO I FIGURED IT'D BE FINE TO FINALLY BINGEWATCH HAIKYUU!! SEASON 3 KARASUNO VS SHIRATORIZAWA AND I JUST FINISHED BINGE-WATCHING IT THAT'S WHY THIS POST IS GOING TO BE IN FULL CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I AM SCREAMING FAIRLY WARNED ALSO THERE WILL BE NO PUNCTUATIONS WHATSOEVER  BECAUSE I AM SCREAMING AND DYING AND WHEEZING AND SPAZZING ALSJSSDUFYURFYBGCTYBGCDSBJSJDGHSDFGKSDEYRETIRYTYRUODJHJDFBJSDBCJBCBVJDGFHJGUGSSHHFHRUGURYRYTUROEPWODASKDJDJHFDBVNBVNCXVBJFHGHJGRYSEURYYTIUAKHSDJGADFHGGASKDLFLKJSDKKJFHRTURTIRFUSADJHDKJAJKSAKJFBVCNBVNBVNCBVNBVJHFGGFSUKJDAHFJDBMNBVMNCVHJDGFKJGKSFGLDSHGKJDBVBVMNCBVNCMBVHJBV OOHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOODDDDDDDDD MY SOOOOOONNNSSSSS MY BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS TSUKKI YOU SALTY SON OF A MAMA CROW I AM SO FUCKING PROUD HOW HOW HOW THE HELL IS MY HEART SO FULL AND HAPPY AND I AM CRYING DEAR GOD I AM ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY CR...

Midterm is starting. I'm still at college and my bus ticket is tonight so I'm taking it easy after this week's rush. Roomie is already packing up as I type in these words, empty tupperware smelling of instant noodle beside me and a half-empty mug of coffee slowly turning lukewarm on the other side. Since midterm's only a week, I'm not bringing home anything much other than clothes and books. Maybe the smaller luggage so I could leave it at home to make packing at the end of finals easier. It's been a little after 2 months since I've gone home. I miss my family. Thunder is just roaring outside as I glance out the window every so often. Our view overlooks the cafe and the 5th block with a fair share of the trees surrounding at the back of aforementioned block. I think there's a picture of it in my IG somewhere... [ This one. ] It's 3 p.m but the cloud's not letting up. It's gonna be raining soon. This predicament is strangely ...

Right. I meant to update soon as I got home but.....yeah. I procrastinated. It's our long-planned holiday together since we got into degree programme and though it felt like it ended before it started, meeting them face to face again was worth it. Worth it. So fucking worth it. Persuading Mom to let me go was a bit of a doozy. Thank God Dad didn't have an issue with it. I kinda don't get it though, because I've been to places on my own before and she didn't have any objections but when I wanted to skip states to see my bestfriends, she suddenly backtracked? If it was a sense of danger, then wouldn't me skipping places on my own be more dangerous than me diddling over to see people who cares about my safety more than myself? Anyhoo, Dad managed to give me the go. The bus in TM is shit. My ticket was at 9 a.m which they tell me the earliest but after waiting from 8.30 to goddamn 11, I was spitting F-bombs like it was free candy. When I asked, they casuall...

Sooooooo false alarm! Amelia's still here. With me. With us. Wow, I have a hard time believing that, actually. Not in a bad way, that is. Yknow, like Tony have a hard time believing that he had a family that loves him as he is and not because of his money and fame which is The Avengers? Well, without the money and fame 'cause obviously I have neither. Which reminds me, I went watching Civil War yesterday with two of my classmates (I know, social life? Who is me and what has taken my place) and to my credit, I did not broke down and cry in the middle of the airing. I waited till the end. Ha By now, I don't even give a fuck about keeping up shields and stuff. My weird asshole ass is out and free and you are welcome to hop in the weirdness if it's to your liking.  If not, you can kindly walk away without a single sentiment at hand. Well, out and free about my fandoms and ships, at least. Privacy is still privacy. I have no idea why Stucky even exists. I can ...

The weekends was hella fun. The best weekends I've ever had this month, period. It was damn near worth it playing hooky with my co-curriculum class. Sis took me out swimming at a resort pool about an hour drive from home with her housemate and it was pretty fantastic. I haven't had a good swim since God knows when and I like the housemate enough for the situation to not feel awkward or uncomfortable. She fed me more than enough to last 3 average days in college and spoiled me with random wants of mine. As a result, I now acquire a shirt that says "WARNING : YOU ARE APPROACHING A PROFESSIONAL FANGIRL" and a couple of other things. It was awesome. But of course, as the weekends ended, so did my turn of being on the upside of the Fortune Wheel.  All of a sudden, my period hits me with a BLAM! on Monday and add a near crippling pain of cramping in the below stomach area, less work was done than it should that night. As it was, I lost my yellow file which held m...

Hello. Two nights ago, sis and I were talking on the phone, me listening out to her rants as she unloads a bunch of shit that's been dropped on her head recently. I can tell she had used the residual energy to caught up on her fandoms, since we were near high as fuck spouting fandom references like rainbows out of a pot of gold. It was awesome. She persuaded me to spend the weekends with her, and after discussing things a bit with my roomie, I decided it was worth playing hooky for once. Consider it a 'family emergency'. I missed the thing we always do with changing from one ship to another regardless of the different fandoms they are from. We were talking about Hannibal because when we're discussing plain murder, Hanny is pretty much the best to go.  It's like what I always say, if you're planning a murder, make sure you get away with it. Moriarty's too big a picture to get involved with anyway. ( Although cases in SPN and Sherlock could be helpfu...

Greetings. I come bearing news. Congrats to Sis for the engagement. I suppose I should say I apologize for my absence but I doubt it would've made any difference. No, there's no double meaning or entendre in that sentence so don't bother looking into it. No sarcasm implied. Mom, I imagine, is incredibly ecstatic. Please hold her off of my case till oh I don't know a couple years minimum. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her and Sis and all of the uh, people, involved. It's just that I've seen how far she went in Sis's case, and I don't want that for me, thank you. I'm not like her and I don't take lightly people nosing about my personal business, as I've once told Sis. As for the uh, newcomers, I don't know what to make of um, them, yet. Amelia advised me against hostility (of course, I'm not a frickin barbarian *roll eyes* ) yet I don't think I'll be exactly "welcoming" either. After all, they are stran...

FEELINGS! FEELINGS EVERYWHERE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FEELS I'M HOLDING IN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I FINISHED HANNIBAL SEASON 3 AND GUESS WHAT, HANNIGRAM IS FUCKING CANON!! IT'S A MARVELOUS DAY TO BE ALIVE!! asfgdhkjlasjdhhf!!! Okay. I'll reel it in now. *takes deep breath*   *exhales* Before, I'd expressed my doubt for this ship in earlier post back when I started watching Hannibal TV series. I saw it as what normal people would've seen it, a twisted obsession gained by manipulation, and while it is not exactly untrue, the series gradually shows Will's character development. And it's beautiful. It's heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Destiel is my OTP but Hannigram is one of my ships and having it BEING FUCKING CANON BEFORE DESTIEL IS DOING THINGS TO MY INSIDES. That said, Bryan Fuller is truly a magnificent and wonderful human being. I want to write an ode to his magnificence and string poetry about him in my books. Heck I DID string poetry about h...

Who needs social life when you can have a fandom one? That's what I always say. hehe Also, there is such a thing as a multi-fandom. I mean, right now I'm rock bottom in SPN Fandom but that doesn't mean I'm not in the Avengers Fandom or Sherlock Fandom or Harry Potter Fandom. Frankly, I can fangirl to any words in any of these fandoms, namely burst into a puddle of gross sobbing and wailing tears. Be thankful I'm not in any musical band's fandom. At first I thought, I'd just watch these series and see if it's good. I didn't expect to be consumed by them and have them willingly ruin my life and soul for eternity.  Nobody expects it, trust me. It just....happens.  In real world, I function as normal as everyone else. Unless someone mentions any triggering words associated with the fandoms, everything should be safe. LOL Things get real tricky when we fangirls/boys recognize each other though. Like meeting an estranged family member who yo...

I've just finished it, and can I say it is awesome. Yes, it is awesome. Not only I relate about 95% of the content, it has a list of recommended books I can add up to my books-to-buy list. A story of the relationship between a son and his mother, what's not to love? Sis and I have always been suckers for family related books. And while upstanding my own opinions on certain thoughts, I agree with the first thing Will Schwalbe had said on page 6, first Chapter ; Crossing to Safety which is to say quote unquote (in case of spoilers) that when you have terminal illness, there isn't likely a surprise ending. You can be fairly certain of what fate has in store. It isn't like Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern , where Celia and Marco drifts off between death and living -not quite dead, not quite alive. It isn't like The Stand by Stephen King , where the characters I'd thought will survive till the end met an unexpected demise (read : Nick) , and the ones I...

I'm slowly working my way through my latest fic and occasionally, whip up some on-spot ideas on the sketchpad. Though I need to be reminded to use my spaces carefully 'cause economy right now is worse and stuff are really getting expensive. I wonder if our country's gonna burn like Africa.  Oops, jinx. Regardless, with the rate we're going on, any jinxing isn't gonna make much difference. *shrug* I'm catching on Stony for a while, meaning that the Destiel ship has been put on hold for the moment. That talk I had with Onee-san few days ago made me think of Stony and now, I'm just filling up the urges to read some fluffy fic and coo adorably at these two grown-up idiots waddling their way through angst and emotionally stunted brains to get their heads outta their asses and see the real love in their freaking eyes. Call it avoidance or whatever but I love these idiots. Yeah get over it. Don't question my OTP. I will go down with this ship. I m...

I'm still going on strong on the Destiel ship and I fear, it's not going away. It might as well be on my shipping-forever-till-I-die list because nothing cracks me up like Sam and Dean's relationship as much as nothing saddens me like Dean and Cas's "profound bond" . I have never laughed so hard, and so long (do NOT make that pun, I dare you LOL) whenever I open up a SPN crack/humor vid because damn, behind the scenes? These guys are damn hilarious I swear I have to stop laughing or else I will pee my pants. Honest. I swear. With Crowley and the rest of the cast as well. They're just so funny! Between Dean,Sam,and Cas, when it comes to crack/humor vid, I'd choose Cas because Cas is...well, Cas. Especially the "I'll interrogate the cat" part. LOLOL The irony that the show runs basely on monsters, murders, betrayal, religion, and the hilariousness (oh yeah, that's a word and I'm using it) of the characters is..what...

It feels awesome to be home again, surrounded by no other than my family and beloved old routines I developed over the years I grew up in this house. It's comfortable, this familiarity. The state of the house no longer shocks me, as it did when I got home during Chinese New Year. The absence of the loss is gone, and some pleasant surprises were in instead. A new cupboard in Mom and Dad's bedroom, a small folded table in the kitchen...and few tidbits here and there. I don't see Noelle or his wife anywhere, only Bocco remains outside and Yuki prefers the inside.  Mom said Noelle is away with his wife for a while 'cause Bocco keeps picking fights with them. Even Yuki stays indoors all the time to avoid Bocco. Oh dear, seems like my Bocco has turned into an old grumpy cat. LOL Ah, well, Bocco has been my baby for so long. He's the eldest of our cats' generation, born and raised in this very house. He was born in 2006, when I was 9 years old, and look at him ...

Yesterday, we had our first drama rehearse in Angsana hall. Of course, our first assignment was to create scripts of our own of which we were to act but still.  Seeing is believing, yes? Much more creating it in spoken words, instead of typing them on paper. Since it was individual scripts, it was individual performance as well. stage fright, man. It's a very real thing. I thought my name wasn't gonna come up because I thought we're going with odd numbers (as usual, my name is the last on the name list) then suddenly, it did. I froze for a while before slowly standing up and making my way to the stage.  Since it's our first ever rehearsal, the hall was empty. Once in front, I didn't spare a look towards the class. I kept my head down and dragged a chair for my opening. My script is, predictably, entitled 'Slenderman's Proxy' . I sat on the chair and posed a sleeping pose. I took a deep breath and summoned my voice project. I did fairly w...

I know, the word 'Positivity' is branded in my blog. It's a miracle! haha I'm not always depressing and gloomy though. Only most of the time. We have tendencies to sit closer to the dark, metaphorically speaking. 'We' meaning my sister and I. I just finished watching this anime movie called "Colorful" . I really like it. The best since I watched Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo. And probably slightly better since it's family-centered. Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo was great but it didn't touch much about family. Rather it centered around loss of a beloved, though in a roundabout way could be stringed to family. Suicide attempts during adolescence is rather a norm in Japan. Some made it out, some doesn't. Some got a chance for a second life, some doesn't. I'd know. It's not that I was much successful in my attempts anyway, I was probably strong enough not to carry them through but weak enough to try. Besides, it's always because of t...

Unsurprisingly, I've been re-acquainting myself with the pastas. I guess the horror adrenaline keeps me on guard for any more panic attacks. LOL. Ironic, I know. Some of the friends I made here aren't as bad. I admit that I may have even sported  a few soft spots for them. Then again, I've always found myself to be a tad lenient to those I consider friends. And I don't even have that many of them. Most are just what I call acquaintances.  They're okay. Sore yori, I'm starting to think that I should cut some slack on the depressive songs and stories because for one, they don't help much other than give me entertainment. Two, they could be adding up my own depression. Not very helpful, isn't it? But as always, dark things are very inevitably addictive . Once you're hooked, well, I can't say for the rest. I've always thought they were beautiful. Hiding several meanings under one line, or maybe even a word is unnervingly smart, and I...