A calm tide.
It's February and we're safely well past the flood season.
Temperature's hot in the afternoon but it settles very nicely with a breeze and shades as the evening creeps in. It's been a week since I started class observation at SMK TM (1) a.k.a my old highschool meaning there's another week to go before it ends.
Thankfully, the process on the first day went smoothly for me. I did have to wait a couple of hours in the morning because there was a Going Back To School ceremony in the halls and the principal had to entertain guests before he comes into the office but soon as I showed him the letter and explained everything, there was little to no problem with the rest. I was referred to the PKP (Right Administration Secretary) right away to settle my schedule and my teacher trainer.
I went around introducing myself, or, re-introducing myself, in any case, to the teachers. Most of them remembers me as a familiar face and I feel honored. I remember them too, well, their faces mostly, but I'm really bad with names so I kept that to myself.
I didn't wanna offend anyone on my first day lol.
I was assigned to my old netball coach, Madam Sim Sin Bee. She didn't taught any of my classes but she coached me when I was in the school netball team in Form 3. She teaches English for Form 2 and 3 and that's perfectly aligned with my form requirements for class observations.
Really, the progress with the Field Experience is going so smoothly I'm afraid to jinx it at this point. All the teachers are so friendly and welcoming to me and it feels like I'm just a kid again, with a better mindset. I had a couple of observations with the other English teachers, just for experience's sake. Might help me make the report easier next couple days.
It's the weekends right now, but I'm having a pretty crappy time.
Because period cramps.
Of course it's nothing unusual that I get them since couple years ago (I didn't use to have them yet I don't remember when it started) but I don't think it's ever been to this degree.
Of course, they're painful and makes it really fucking hard to move because every movement makes it feel like you have electric live wires tapped to your nerve system and get electrocuted on the inside when you move.
Other times, it feels like there's miniature imps tearing and clawing and biting down the endometrium wall. At best, there's nothing but mild discomfort.
This one feels like the devil himself clawing through the endometrium wall and hanging off from the womb, wringing out the blood. It's a pretty gross image if I do fucking say so myself.
Imagine how it feels.
I do try to keep up with the chores still, like doing the dishes and sweeping through the kitchen but I feel guilty and ashamed to say that I couldn't keep up with doing the laundry yesterday although I've done all of the chores regularly this week. Every time I move, the pain escalates till I sorta have to walk around with half of my top body hunched over my stomach as if I'm protecting my kidney or something. *sigh*
I hope it doesn't last long. It normally doesn't go longer than the first three days so I have my fingers crossed for that. I couldn't think of any possible reason for this sudden occasion but it kinda reminds me when I was 3 days away from sitting SPM. That was worse, though.
Maybe it's because last month I didn't have any cramps so it accumulated to this month. Besides, last month was early so maybe it fucked up the cycle somehow. Or maybe it's just stress. I mean, PMS are mostly related to hormones and shit, right? Who knows?
In college, I'd just sleep it off 'cause I have no chores and stuff other than my assignments. Also because my mind is rarely pleasant during these times and I'm at most vulnerable position to lose. At home, it's quiet, and peaceful. There's no constant screaming, no constant static noises, no loud jibbering, no depressing boulders to drag me down, no twitches of fingers, no unreasonable sadness, no manic urges to tear off my skin, no nothing.
The tide is calm.
And I am grateful.
Temperature's hot in the afternoon but it settles very nicely with a breeze and shades as the evening creeps in. It's been a week since I started class observation at SMK TM (1) a.k.a my old highschool meaning there's another week to go before it ends.
Thankfully, the process on the first day went smoothly for me. I did have to wait a couple of hours in the morning because there was a Going Back To School ceremony in the halls and the principal had to entertain guests before he comes into the office but soon as I showed him the letter and explained everything, there was little to no problem with the rest. I was referred to the PKP (Right Administration Secretary) right away to settle my schedule and my teacher trainer.
I went around introducing myself, or, re-introducing myself, in any case, to the teachers. Most of them remembers me as a familiar face and I feel honored. I remember them too, well, their faces mostly, but I'm really bad with names so I kept that to myself.
I didn't wanna offend anyone on my first day lol.
I was assigned to my old netball coach, Madam Sim Sin Bee. She didn't taught any of my classes but she coached me when I was in the school netball team in Form 3. She teaches English for Form 2 and 3 and that's perfectly aligned with my form requirements for class observations.
Really, the progress with the Field Experience is going so smoothly I'm afraid to jinx it at this point. All the teachers are so friendly and welcoming to me and it feels like I'm just a kid again, with a better mindset. I had a couple of observations with the other English teachers, just for experience's sake. Might help me make the report easier next couple days.
It's the weekends right now, but I'm having a pretty crappy time.
Because period cramps.
Of course it's nothing unusual that I get them since couple years ago (I didn't use to have them yet I don't remember when it started) but I don't think it's ever been to this degree.
Of course, they're painful and makes it really fucking hard to move because every movement makes it feel like you have electric live wires tapped to your nerve system and get electrocuted on the inside when you move.
Other times, it feels like there's miniature imps tearing and clawing and biting down the endometrium wall. At best, there's nothing but mild discomfort.
This one feels like the devil himself clawing through the endometrium wall and hanging off from the womb, wringing out the blood. It's a pretty gross image if I do fucking say so myself.
Imagine how it feels.
I do try to keep up with the chores still, like doing the dishes and sweeping through the kitchen but I feel guilty and ashamed to say that I couldn't keep up with doing the laundry yesterday although I've done all of the chores regularly this week. Every time I move, the pain escalates till I sorta have to walk around with half of my top body hunched over my stomach as if I'm protecting my kidney or something. *sigh*
I hope it doesn't last long. It normally doesn't go longer than the first three days so I have my fingers crossed for that. I couldn't think of any possible reason for this sudden occasion but it kinda reminds me when I was 3 days away from sitting SPM. That was worse, though.
Maybe it's because last month I didn't have any cramps so it accumulated to this month. Besides, last month was early so maybe it fucked up the cycle somehow. Or maybe it's just stress. I mean, PMS are mostly related to hormones and shit, right? Who knows?
In college, I'd just sleep it off 'cause I have no chores and stuff other than my assignments. Also because my mind is rarely pleasant during these times and I'm at most vulnerable position to lose. At home, it's quiet, and peaceful. There's no constant screaming, no constant static noises, no loud jibbering, no depressing boulders to drag me down, no twitches of fingers, no unreasonable sadness, no manic urges to tear off my skin, no nothing.
The tide is calm.
And I am grateful.
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