AkImA No NiKkI

Greetings. It's been a while, haha. I'm at home, lounging my ass off until 10th of September which is when the next semester starts, namely, my 4th.  I've decided to stay in the same group again, mainly because a friend guilt-tripped me into it lol. As long as we keep the assholery of work to a minimum. I like the girls, really. I just like them outside of work when we're not working together. That's really inevitable,  next to impossible, yes I am aware. I am also aware that the girls can be made to understand this. Regardless, as the holidays span, I have exciting plans await! xD Not gonna jinx it yet but Amelia, Irene, and I have plans around late August. Hopefully it'll come to fruition smoothly! I miss them both so dearly. I hear rumors that PALAM will have a KTM line to KL Central in the future. Let's hope that's neither false or too far off because if that's true, my weekends would likely be spent in KL half the time. hahaha Recen

[She was watching Jack before bed, trying to finish the Edith Finch series gameplay, but it 5 minutes after midnight and she should really go to bed before she screws up her hard-earned sleep schedule. She went about in her daily ministrations, and settled under the blanket with a soft sigh in the dark. She was really happy today.] The ledger, you called it? Really? How much more obvious can you get?   [she opened her eyes, brows scrunching confusedly at the ceiling.] what? You couldn't admit to Amelia that you were scared. You called it the ledger. Well done for the analogy to Black Widow. Only, Nat puts her targets profiles in there. You put the names of people you hurt, one way or the other. [she turned sideways, feeling her head began to spin. Slowly, she feels her chest constrict.] What's this about? People in the past stays in the past for a reason. Amelia calls me out on my shit for justifying myself a lot but there are reasons for certain things to be as the

My insomnia is acting up again. I've taken two sleeping pills yesterday morning and last night, yet the only hours I've been able to sleep is 3 this morning from 7-9. I promised my psychiatrist that I'll only take them if I hadn't gotten any sleep more than 24 hours and now my head is kicking up a storm. I wonder if it'd be superstitious to say it'd have something related with the dream of mirrors I had couple of days ago. I'm starting to think the dream of mirrors were dragged up by the most recent void memory being surfaced. Maybe it's a reaction. God, I don't know. There were similarities. Maybe my head cocked up a dream from what it interpreted as a hey-you-got-a-memory-back-here's-a-gift thing. I saw 14 years old me like a mirror with a reflection that wasn't truly mine eventhough I feel her as myself and the dream...turned it sinister, even when I considered the coming-back memory a positive one despite what it entailed. Why