AkImA No NiKkI

It's been 4 days since I finally finished my practicum and now at sis's house for the next two weeks before I go home to mom and dad. Sara and I celebrated, yada yada yada. On the last day before we sent our administration files, Amelia finally texted me back after four months of radio silence from each other, to end things between us. Surprisingly, I took it well. Mainly because I do not intend to survive this year and since my life is going to end, what does it matter if it ends a little early. It'll be less painful for her. The only thing she asked was to not do it to Irene, but I've already set things in motion. My apathy has been at peak condition for a while now. Ever since I decided to die. Nothing bothers me anymore. All that's left is just picking a day, for me. I'm as content as can be, and one can almost say, peaceful. Everything will end, and I'm happy. One way or another, you're okay without me, and that's good. Survive. Forget a

It's okay. I won't be here long enough to think about it anymore. Soon I won't be afraid of being abandoned anymore, even if it's cowardly and selfish. When it's over, I can finally stop hurting them, and vice versa. I still need to decide a day to die.