AkImA No NiKkI

Midterm is starting. I'm still at college and my bus ticket is tonight so I'm taking it easy after this week's rush. Roomie is already packing up as I type in these words, empty tupperware smelling of instant noodle beside me and a half-empty mug of coffee slowly turning lukewarm on the other side. Since midterm's only a week, I'm not bringing home anything much other than clothes and books. Maybe the smaller luggage so I could leave it at home to make packing at the end of finals easier. It's been a little after 2 months since I've gone home. I miss my family. Thunder is just roaring outside as I glance out the window every so often. Our view overlooks the cafe and the 5th block with a fair share of the trees surrounding at the back of aforementioned block. I think there's a picture of it in my IG somewhere... [ This one. ] It's 3 p.m but the cloud's not letting up. It's gonna be raining soon. This predicament is strangely ...

"We never defeat our demons, Mordo. We learn to live above them." - Supreme Sorcerer in Doc.Strange. It's funny, what she said. Because it's true, innit? You never truly destroy what has the potential to destroy you because it is also a part of what you are. So you find recesses to live above them, and it's a continual effort until the rest of your life. I've had an exhausting week. Assignments being typed and printed, discussions being scheduled and worked out, tests being discussed and examined, presentations being rolled out and moving, etc etc etc. We're nearing mid-term break the week after and not long until final exam for this term to end. Rush, rush, rush. Yesterday was fun. I experienced using a Black Room simulation and Rope Rescue during the FireFighter trip to FRAM (Fire Rescue Academy) in Kuala Kubu Bharu and everything was exciting and educational. I genuinely enjoyed myself despite missing a day's class. Though the backlash sho...

Doing assignments and working on papers has been really hard recently.  I don't think it's the level of the work, just that it felt like something was missing whenever I have them laid out on the desk. It felt like nothing was coming out of my brain and I had to scoop out the words one by one. It felt like labor work.    -___-||| And yesterday it finally hit me. Music.  All this time, I've been trying to do my papers in silence and not like I'm used to doing them, with a mug of coffee and earphones plugged in. I didn't even realize how long I've been struggling without them lol xD As the result of not being able to do my work properly, it left me feeling all kinds of worthless and stupid and useless. Not a good feeling, I guarantee you. More often than not, I had to take a break and take a walk outside my room, if just to clear my head. It kinda has been digging me up for a while, this issue. But last night, I was able to get into my working headspace...