Nande...?

Hey.Sorry for not posting so long.It's been like,what,a month? since I last posted,but never mind.I was busy anyway,the trial for PMR is coming soon so all of us 3rd years have to struggle.Today,is one of those days where I keep wishing how good it would be if I could just extinguish my existence or in other words;die.


I know I'm not the most obedient nor perfect daughter,but I never disobeyed my parents..Always tried to satisfy their wishes upon myself eventhough agaisnt my very own will.I tried..Really..I really..Tried...

But I want to have some private things on my own too..Even just a little room of privacy,I want that room..

Now I'm currently filling the whole pages of a green diary which Faqie gave me 2 years ago.I wanted it to be full..Full of the days that I wrote in it,so that when I am with her again,I want her to know every single detail of my life here..I want her to know that I missed her on every single pages in that diary..

I really,seriously,hate being here.Maybe not as much as I used to because of "him" but at these times,it's inevitable that I despise this place more than ever.With surroundings like this,it's a no wonder how I've become so easily stressed out.Such ridiculous surrounding! Fighting every day with my brother and lately,I've even started to fight with my parents too! This pressures me too much until I could barely hold them inside anymore.

This evening,I burst out.

I cried so hard I can't cope with my breathing.Then,Fazer called.Actually,I miscalled him a few times..I was so depressed..I was facing a blunt road and he was the only one I could think of at the time.When I picked up,my breathings slowly came to normal..But as I talked,my cries literally became harder.

I began to sob.

I cried,eventhough I knew he listens.He is the first guy to ever listen me cry.And so far,none have seen.Until my cries faded,he was still with me.I thank God,for letting me have him as my bestfriend.

Thank you God...For granting me few of that I wished...A true listener..A loyal friend...And a lifetime friendships....Thank you...

Comments

  1. hoshikunv2July 29, 2011 at 5:03 AM

    seems like you really are having a pretty complicated life.
    But hey, just be strong. You might be experiencing them now, but will you again in the future?
    ignore the small matters(not to say your problems are small, just that it's best to not really getting into them) or it'll stress you out.

    You got a nice guy out there. well, be strong :3

    ReplyDelete
  2. FarahAugust 4, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    well,i guess adolescence really does bite.(-____-) thanks for the support tho..(^^)

    yeah,it's something I should've done a long time ago.Ignoring everything that is not from my world. (-___-) *sigh**

    I noe..Thanks. (^^)

    ReplyDelete

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