Were we Ever truly Friends?

Humans have limits.
This is general knowledge.

Yet we push the boundaries, as far as it may go. Granted, it wasn't much, but at times, it was enough. The limited boundary of human minds isn't supposed to be a secret, rather more of unique-ly shaped cave with unique halls and caverns with each unique personality of a person.
With friendships, isn't understanding a privilege?

Is my condition too hard for him to see?
Are my walls too high for him to climb?
Should I have never shown him my bloodied self?
What was I expecting? What was I hoping?

Kei and I, we grew close for our intricate similarities, as well as our differences.
His coping mechanism is distraction, just as much as he is a good one.
But I face my demons head on.
When I showed them to him, what exactly were I expecting him to do?

I wanted him to look at them, and tell me what they are.
I wanted him to pry their gripping claws from my mind, and say nothing.

But what I get was a series of "Stop!" and "Please!" and "This isn't you."
I thought he understood me. I thought he knew me. 

I thought we were friends.
Are we not?

In fact, were we ever those?

I keep my secrets close, and my demons closer.
I am always careful to control myself in public, or in whoever's company. Not too much emotions, not too little. Enough to look appear, enough to disappear. I miss those controls.

When we deemed ourselves bestfriends, were we not both aware of the conditions?
When I showed him my scars, could he not see the old blood behind them?
Could he not understand?

I hate it when he says "this isn't you."
It angers me. Like he ever truly knew who I am. Like he'd ever understand.
THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ME.
YOU'VE JUST NEVER TRULY SEEN IT BEFORE.

Don't you see?
Everyone has a hidden side.
When you don't recognize it, it only means they've been keeping it hidden.
It's not new, and they are not different.

They are who they have always been.
You just don't see them.