Mistake updates

Update. 
I make mistakes after mistakes hoping one would eventually land me in a volcano soup hot enough to burn the flesh off of my ass. When they haven't, I turn tail and run. Because if it's not gonna make me regret life more than living, it's got no point. 

 I'm gonna install Ragnarok Eternal Love again because that shit fills up my time. All I need is level up and level up and level up again. And without Mya, I don't need to do no stupid social interaction. I can go Kirito-ing on my own, however slow and sluggish and dumb it may be because I'm no gamer thus my playing is always slow and dumb. 

 I thought about making new friends. Then I realize there's a reason why I don't go out and make new friends, and new friends make me. I'm an introvert. 
I hate people.
But, the point is, I tried. Damn I really fucking tried. Like the Saint of Goodness and Purity would be damn proud how hard I tried. I basically turned myself into a nice person. 

 Never doing that again.

 Because nice people? Still get shit on. I'd rather stay the asshole me and stand up for myself. Thank you for reminding me how little patience I have when people invalidates me. 

 Still I can't reach out to those who sticks by me. Still I smile and swallow the tears alone on the sketch papers day in and day out. 
What's next? 

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