Aitai
I miss Mom and Dad.
And Onee-san.
I mean,duhh,Mom and Dad had been away for more than a month already but it is a bit irrational to miss Nee-san when she had just left like,a few days ago.What can I say? At the very least I had someone to interact normally with without a single wince.
Today's Friday.Four days left until exam.
Frankly,I don't really care about it.It's just an exam,like any other had been.The only thing's different is the questions.
I just want it to be over.Like,pronto.God knows how long we've all waited for the day it finally ends.I'd be dancing a freaking hula hoop outside the hall once the last paper is collected.
Eventhough Onee-san told me to tell her if anything happens stat,I can't really bring myself to do it.She's on her exam,and I'm not really that selfish nor stupid to crash on her whenever I have my stupid outbreaks.
I'm....Paranoid,is probably the closest word to describe it.Afraid of the littlest stuff that could change my daily routines.It's normal,I guess.
Routines is a sign of sureness.It's what you do every day.When it's scrambled like cheddar cheese on spaggheti,you suddenly feel like you're afloat on air.
You can't be sure of anything.
You're insecure.
Then you get scared.
I've been shitscared for a long time now.Ever since that first day we sent off Mom and Dad at Tabung Haji Hotel.
One by one,misfortunes fall upon us and we struggled to keep our sanity ropes connected.One by one,we struggled to find some solutions,or at least,hold them off until Mom and Dad come home.And of course,it's not like each of us already have enough on our plates.
When I thought for one moment that I could finally find some rest from all this shite,it all but topples down to the earth once again.
I was standing again.Shaky,granted,but standing.I had to hold my ground.Sometimes I find myself thinking,how can a mere 17-years old kid cramps this all in one head.
I have to keep going.
17 may seem like a short life and a long one is still ahead but now..I just want now to end.For time to quicken it's pace.
Mom,Dad,please come home,quickly.
Goddammit I don't think I can hold on much longer.
And Onee-san.
I mean,duhh,Mom and Dad had been away for more than a month already but it is a bit irrational to miss Nee-san when she had just left like,a few days ago.What can I say? At the very least I had someone to interact normally with without a single wince.
Today's Friday.Four days left until exam.
Frankly,I don't really care about it.It's just an exam,like any other had been.The only thing's different is the questions.
I just want it to be over.Like,pronto.God knows how long we've all waited for the day it finally ends.I'd be dancing a freaking hula hoop outside the hall once the last paper is collected.
Eventhough Onee-san told me to tell her if anything happens stat,I can't really bring myself to do it.She's on her exam,and I'm not really that selfish nor stupid to crash on her whenever I have my stupid outbreaks.
I'm....Paranoid,is probably the closest word to describe it.Afraid of the littlest stuff that could change my daily routines.It's normal,I guess.
Routines is a sign of sureness.It's what you do every day.When it's scrambled like cheddar cheese on spaggheti,you suddenly feel like you're afloat on air.
You can't be sure of anything.
You're insecure.
Then you get scared.
I've been shitscared for a long time now.Ever since that first day we sent off Mom and Dad at Tabung Haji Hotel.
One by one,misfortunes fall upon us and we struggled to keep our sanity ropes connected.One by one,we struggled to find some solutions,or at least,hold them off until Mom and Dad come home.And of course,it's not like each of us already have enough on our plates.
When I thought for one moment that I could finally find some rest from all this shite,it all but topples down to the earth once again.
I was standing again.Shaky,granted,but standing.I had to hold my ground.Sometimes I find myself thinking,how can a mere 17-years old kid cramps this all in one head.
I have to keep going.
17 may seem like a short life and a long one is still ahead but now..I just want now to end.For time to quicken it's pace.
Mom,Dad,please come home,quickly.
Goddammit I don't think I can hold on much longer.
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