AkImA No NiKkI

Hey.Nothin' new,just a few rants here and there. Something just made me remember some times when I was a kid.A 10 years old kid. Life was hard for me at the time.I remember once when mom and dad fought,and dad stayed away from home for a while. Muzakkir was 6 and he was at my aunt's house,if I remembered it correctly. Being the only kid in the house,and my sister constantly ignoring me,I didn't know what to do.It was my first time seeing mom and dad quarrel,and it was really scary.At that time,I was thinking,"how come Onee-san gets to stay in her room while I can't?" Even after they made up,the scary memories stayed. After 4 years,I grew to be an independent young girl.But my mind was surprisingly shallow,and something else that I can't be sure of....blankness..?? I became scared,of being lonely,of the dark.Very,very scared... I didn't dare to tell anyone.And it just keep building up inside me,like a timed bomb. Until one night,a fight ...

Yooo~~  today's the day where we form 3 students get our PMR results!  It was a long wait,but I suppose not long enough for me to finish my new book,"Cut".And it was worth waiting,since my result is,Alhamdulillah, straight A's ~!! xDD I didn't expect to get an A for Arabic since I've never got one before! Hahahaha~ xP but I guess Ustazah Norhayati made it all possible,she is the best teacher any student could ever have! and so is all teachers who have dedicated themselves to educate us throughout our 3 years!  [Senseitachi o,tottemo arigatou gozaimasuu~~!!!!] xDDD   I'll make a list of those I know with their results! be proud with what you have,for it is the proof of  all your hard work! I'll start with my 'family' ,of course~ x3 Azwa (mama) - 8A's (I'm so happy for you,babe! I'll send a gift as soon as I can! x33) Faqie (Princess) - 8A's (I'm so proud of you,bb~~!! Your present will arrive along with mama...

O'TANJOUBI OMEDETO GOZAIMASU,BOKU NO OTOTO DE~!! Preeeeetttttt~~~~!!!!! Aaaaaannddd CUT! Okay,that is all for today,goodbye~~!! xPP haha,really,that IS it.Just wanna do something rather than let it pass wastefully,this is his 13th birthday  after all..which is coincidentally next to the day where we PMR students will get our result. I'm surprised that I even remembered his birthday today since we always fight.The difference between my sister and I are 4 years and so is Muzakkir and Mukhlis.Muzakkir and I are the closest with 2 years difference. There's nothing to celebrate anyway since he's away at my uncle's house in Kota Bharu with Mukhlis since last week. Tomorrow has been confirmed that we PMR students are to receive our PMR results at school around 10 am,I think.Waa,hayai! Guess I have to wake up early tomorrow then.I don't look or sound nervous,do I? *sigh~* I suppose whatever I get,I just have to take it like a man.Never mind tha...

Hey.. New year 's coming close around the corner,so that means,we're getting older ,in which occasion I do not enjoy .Thinking that we get older every day makes me paranoid,like my sister.  (-____-||||||) Also,not only the new year and my brother's birthday are the only important occasion,the PMR result 's coming close too..Dang,talking about it makes my stomach knots.If I get lower than 7A 's my mom would so totally kick me from the house .At least that's what she told me.And I don't really mind if I deserved it either.Hahaha~ *sweaty laugh*   Gah.I think I'm developing some kinda human-phobia here.Why can't some people accept that I want to be FRIENDS and ONLY FRIENDS ,dammit! I don't even know why the fucking hell would anyone want to be friends with me! Like my sister said ,"how in the world could anyone befriend you with your little foul mouth??" . YOU tell ME ,I don't know why either. Then again,maybe it wasn...

Hmm ,December 21st is coming soon..That means my brother , Muzakkir ,will be fully 13 this year.And that only means he'll get more and more annoying,since he's about to enter his first year of adolescence.Well,among the five of us he's the one with the latest birthday. Wonder what shud I get him? maybe a day without me bothering him wud be gud.That shud do just as gud. 'kay,another topic now.I really don't get boys. *sigh* I mean, sure I have lots of guy friends than my girlfriends ,but that's just because I was a tomboy back when I was a kid.There were hardly any girls around my age at my neighbourhood so I only hang out with guys even if they were years older or younger than me. I guess that's why I suck at expressing my feelings or anything like that .Other than my girlfriends at school,I never had a childhood girlfriend since all of my childhood friends are...well, guys . I know,I know,my excuse sucks. -_____-|||| But,it's better to...

Dad's away for a few days,visiting his sick friend in Melaka.Leaving us with mom.But mom's having a fever,so it's up to Onee-san and me now to handle the housechores.And our brothers and Mia . It's already December,wonder when will we get our results? No rush there,definitely.I don't wanna grow up so fast~ In fact,I don't think I ever wanna grow up.  (T^T) [pout~pout~] Hmm,since Onee-san is here with me until school starts, let's talk about her ! xD And a little bit mention of my dunno-yet-coming-to-be-my-brother-in-law while listening to "Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari"! ^^ Ever since onee-san broke up with him,she seemed fine ,well she wanted to broke up with him out of annoyance anyway, but I can see that she missed him every few days.I can't say she missed him everyday cuz that's apparently not true..    My poor  兄さん....  "-_____-|||| My Onee-san is a very selfish person.But she would put our family before her.Also,s...