Don't remember.Don't understand.

Today Nee-san came home.
I was happy,I missed her so much.
I thought it was a dream,when I woke up and found her sleeping peacefully next to me.
Then I saw her bags and knew she was home.
But that's not the point.

 I can't remember.

 What the hell happened last night?

 After I finished my homeworks around 12,I was getting ready for bed.
Then a pain throbbed in my chest.
It twisted,pulled,squirmed,somewhere near my heart.
I don't understand.
What happened? Why am I feeling this?
Nothing unusual happened today..
Why? What is this pain for?
It grew stronger and stronger until I took my blanket and wrapped myself in it.
I stiffled the sobs and the tears started rolling.
I cried from the pain I don't even know.Because it hurts.

 I don't understand.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.

 I cried and cried until the throbbing pain goes away.
Then I felt like I was half-concious.I realize what's happening,but I couldn't grasp it.
I sit my favourite position when I'm in pain,with my arms hugging my knees to my warm chest,the blanket wrapping me.
And stared blankly into the walls of my room.
My head asked,"what am I doing?"
but my body showed no sign of reactions.
It was scary.I was scared.

 I kept staring at the wall motionlessly for some time.
My head giving commands without my body consenting it.
I kept staring.
Then I cried again.This time,it doesn't hurt.
I cried because I was scared.
This is definitely not normal.Am I going crazy?Or am I having some kinda illness?
I lied down.
And --

 The next morning,I woke up only to find that I was late for school and rushed for bath.
The only thing I realized when I woke up is that I was hugging my phone instead of my pillow and the books were all opened on the bed.
And I don't remember a thing about it.

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