AkImA No NiKkI

I rarely have a crush. But when I do, it's with the guy I have no chance with. Urgh. I suppose it's acceptable that he forgot my birthday since we only have been classmates for one and a half good semesters (around 6 months) and that he had liked my photo that I clearly posted in occurence of my birthday in Instagram. *sigh* Well. At least it's not as disastrous as The Seiji Incident of '13. He's nothing like Seiji, in fact, so I can't say that I have a type. My love life is so shit. LOL

for the people in my life >3 *grabs Stiles* *puts away the box* *play innocently with him in the living room until Derek comes and then tackle Derek together and have a glorious puppy pile* *best birthday ever* LOL last year stuff but still relatable xDD Why thank you you weird alien ;PP *squealllllll!!!!!!* *chokes on breath* *cough cough cough* T-Thanks, Tatum. (/////^/////)

If there is one wish I could make right now, it would be to restore the house. At college, all I wanted to see is my family. And I am seeing them as we speak. I miss their faces, their voices, their acts, even their little habits. But at college, they were all I see. Not the house. Not the condition. Not the reminder. Being home, everything floods back to memories. The flood. The disaster. The damage. The convenience, I took for granted. Being at college, my concerns revolve around me. My routine, my diet, my schedule, my work, my mind, etc etc etc. It's why all those depressing thoughts surround me. Because I have nothing else to think but myself. Why my disorder works at its best. At home, I don't have time to think about myself. And it's the very best thing. I think about when and how to help Mom and Dad in every way. I think about when and where to talk about refurnishing the house.  I think about keeping the house as manageable as possible until Mom an

At first it was just a random insta-follow, which reminds me, I should make mine private so that people would have to request my damn permission before following me. It's infinitesimally small, not quite worthy of other than a shrug and a "Meh." Then the Grammar explorace. That's fate, can't quite argue with that and even if I did, can't really expect anything from it either. *shrug* Now a FB request?  You know, I feel like karma is making its merry way to bite a huge chunk of my butt right now. Slowly but surely, stalking around the premises like a entranced predator.  I told you I don't like popular people. The unnecessary attraction is rather unpleasant. *sigh and facepalm* I hope this doesn't end like Akira. Or even start with the him. I can't really afford the drama other than the absolute needed in Drama class right now. Which is still driving me to edge of depression. The stage was never my place. The light was never mine to

Honestly I feel like there should be lots of work need to be done but soon as weekend morning (or afternoon) comes, I could remember nothing. Like a smoke. I flip through my books, in case there was a note I missed somewhere but nope. Just study notes here and there and doodles all over the place. I finished what I DO remember, Grammar and whatnot. But most of the others are group works and I sorta beginning to not like spending my weekends doing nothing. I mean, it's great to take a break once in a while but this has been going on for too many weeks. I need work. I reminded Amelia of our few presentations and make some plans. Much as I'd like to wrap things up myself, it's called a group work for a reason. Which is why I hate it. Don't get me wrong, I love working with Amelia and Irene because they're pros. Work is work and they get that. No confusions, you know? Unlike some of the others I've been saddled with. *roll eyes* They keep alternating

Mom went to Vietnam with few of my uncles and aunts, leaving Dad on babysitting duty of Mia and Mukhlis. I don't remember for how long, probably just a few days because I probably get this trait of constantly worrying over the house when being far away from her. I suppose it explains his sudden sentimentality 2 nights ago on the family group whatsapp. It was right in the middle of my final drama practice LOL. Talk about the thing, I'm finally done and over with it. There's still one presentation called Reader's Theatre but that's a class performance so I wouldn't think about it too much. Next, we get to focus on the drama class's novel, Inspector Calls. Finally. Ah, I just watched Tonari no Kaibutsu and yes, I know it's a shoujo anime. I was interested in it because of the heroine's character, Mizutani Shizuku. She reminds me of...well, me. I used to be like that too. Never caring about those of no concern to me, practically emotionless thr

I don't wanna go to class tomorrow. It's all because of the drama thing. Urgh. We had our last minute practice just now, including Amelia's roommate and our ex-classmate last term. I feel like my performance rate is gradually dwindling down. Granted, Sir had not complained of my performance other than my habit of looking down and holding my body in a protective gesture (though that was a given, really). I'm saying it as a more of a language kinda thing, like articulation and timing and stuff. Plus, my costume is basically just sleeping pajamas. I'm just gonna borrow my roommate's hoodie and wear my sweatpants tomorrow. The performance is due by 2 p.m. Not to mention my group have a presentation in the morning, and I'm taking Amelia's part since she have to go to the healthcare centre to check up on her ears. She can't hear clearly lately. Which is why, I am reading up all kinds of creepypasta stories tonight in preparation for tomorrow.

This is one of those annoying posts that has misleading titles because there's no flowery cute friendships around here. Well, there's a friendship but I wouldn't exactly call it flowery. It's because I write random title that pops up in my head all the time. It is common on holidays that I stay up until 3-4 something doing either work,fanfic, or reading doujinshi. And then I sleep until 2 in the afternoon. I don't give shit much about my eating habits because I sorta eat to live on holidays. Like, only opening up my cookie stash when I'm literally starving. And gorging myself on heavenly coffees. Later, that would bite me in the ass by getting me worked up and writing too much on whatever I get my hands on. Almost feverishly, you would say. Amelia and Irene always nags at me about my eating habits though they have nothing to touch on my sleeping habits because Amelia is pot, me kettle. Irene is a perfect specimen of sane human though. She wakes u

It's the first of February 2015 , and time is running faster. I'm nearing my 19th birthday, 24 days to go. 19, huh. I don't feel any different. Though recently I've found a new goal with a passion. A cottage in the woods. Okay, not exactly new but more like, enhanced . I began to add details and soon enough, it started to feel like a real dream to me. I want a house in Canada , which I spesifically chose because of it's lowest rate of human population in the world. Less people is good. It's awfully cold, but I suppose we'll manage. Yes, "we" . I intend to live there with my children. And no, I'm still against sharing my life with an unknown homosapien. I'll adopt some.  And no, I will not have some kind of sibling incest going on between them. It's not like I'll adopt all 4 of them at once. The oldest will range from 3-4 years in difference. I'll adopt babies, and they'll be breastfed-siblings. Yeay! x