When someone tries to help but just makes everything worse and you're like, no, please, stop, enough, okay that's enough thank you for your attempt but please stop.

Yeah, this came on just last night.
It's not uncommon and it pretty much happens a lot of time when I was in college back when the first ground breakthrough of my condition. Though back then, I was a master at turning my ears off and watch them move their mouths like gaping fish while I thought of scenes in various books that I've read and remembered.


Since I hadn't have had much contact other than my friends, I've forgotten all about how naive some people can be. Even when they didn't mean anything by it.

Not many people knows about my PTSD.
Don't get me wrong, I don't keep it a secret. But I'm not exactly putting it on advertising billboards either. If they ask, I answer. Provided, they ask the right question.

There's this acquaintance of mine, when we were still Asasi TESL-ians. She's nice, sweet, respectable, humble, and generally likeable by every human being who knows her. 
Even me.
Last night, she sent me an article regarding PTSD. Said it reminded her of me when she found it. The article wasn't much of help, tbh. No more than I already know about it. 
It's what she said afterwards that was sorta.....wrong, I guess.

"I hope you get over it soon.", was what she said.

You know that feeling when you're in a condition and your friend (or acquaintance) was trying to help with genuine concern and effort but they don't know what the hell they're doing and they just end up makes everything worse and you're just, like, okay, enough, thank you for your help -or at least an attempt of it- but you're really not helping so could you please just, stop, stop, omg, just. Please stop. *sigh and facepalm*


I'm not angry or offended, really. It's just that that phrase is so....wrong, coming from anyone else. Because technically, PTSD is sorta like mental cancer. Once you got it and it doesn't go away after a few months, well. It doesn't go away, period.
I've saddled with this thing for 6 years now, including the one year I lost after the incident, and I've just known about it for 1.

Heck I just found out that all those nights and 'dreams' and everything I've been experiencing in high school weren't normal teenage stuff, instead symptoms of complex PTSD, last year.

I'm doing alright now, mostly. Because ever since that moment when every pieces fall into place, I could finally put a name and a face to my demons, and that helps me to take the first step forward. I had been stuck for quite some time, and all of that felt like a ground breakthrough.

Still, they come up to breathe once in a while. And it's not as bad as they used to be so in a way, it's still a win. I told you they don't really go away. Not quite.
More like, they take a back seat in your mind and lay low. Watching the rest of your life proceeds. And when triggered, they come up to play for a while.
It's not as bad as it sounds, tbh.

In fact, this is a big improvement.
I practically have them on leashes now.

When was the last time I had a relapse? 
Somewhere around May, I think. Yes. Little less than 2 months now, is it?
I should keep a track on these things.

It's no big deal, really. I mean, Kei has said worse. Fabio has definitely said a few pieces. The only one who hasn't yet break the pattern is Amelia and Irene.
And I hope to God they won't.
God knows I have no more friends to trust.

LOL

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