kizuna

"Kizuna" in japanese means "bonds".It doesn't matter whether it is bonds between family,or friendships,as long as it is a feeling of love tied to a person's heart to another..It is what we call,"bond"...

You know,I talk a lot about myself,well this is my blog anyway,but that's not really the point.I'm starting to have this weird habit of taking it as a diary.Eventhough I don't occasionally write every day..We humans have many bonds,don't we? Bonds between family,friends,lovers,teachers,and even with some strangers we don't even recognise.I'm not gonna talk about crappy love bonds all day long,wasting my time,but I would like to elaborate this so called feelings of "love" and "bond".

Bonds between yourself.Like you and your favourite stuff.Favourite hobby.Favourite actor/actress.Favourite anything that makes you happy everytime you do it or watch it or whatever terms suitable for your things.

I don't know about you,but as for me,it's about me and netball.I love netball.The enthusiasm,the excitement,the giddiness flushing through my head everytime I managed to score a point.I used to hate the field when I was 9 because I couldn't play anything and I suck at everything.I sat beside the field on P.E class.But everything changed when one my P.E teachers abducted me for a netball game.She made me the goal shooter because of my heights,I didn't mind even when I groaned out of annoyance.I remember my very first score,the ball went right in the net eventhough I was trying to throw it off the net.Surprisingly,I felt shocked,very shocked indeed.But I know I was happy.That's when I first met netball,and it changed my life to a whole new level.I dedicated myself to it,I'm happy with it,and I want to play it.

Bonds between your family.Sure everyone has a family.Even animals have families.But not all families appeared like we want them to be.That's why there are dads who raped their own daughters/sons nowadays,child abusements,wrong maids,and a whole lots of others.Well,I'm happy to say that my family is quite normal as it can be except for my little-abnormal brother who is trying his very best to oh I don't know ruin every second of my life.I admit I'm a pure sucker when it comes to family because I love my mom and dad,my sisters and my brothers.

[Family bonds]

Being the middle child is a pure pain in the ass because you had to do everything to keep the oldest and the youngest from breaking apart.The middle child is always the one most independent because they had to live on their own.People say that the oldest is the most mature in the siblings chain,but in my POV,the oldest and the youngest have the most attention from the parents.The oldest is most attached to the parents than the youngest actually,because the have the parents love all to themselves for a few years before they had a new baby bro/sis.While the middle child,I have to say,is less attached to the parents because they are in the middle between the youngest and the oldest. 

Bonds between your friends.Everyone has friends even foes can be called friends.We do good to our friends.But sometimes we choose the wrong person to befriend with.We know that if a friend hits us when we do bad things,they love us.They save us.They stand by us.Some flee when we are in depression,and some stays.Those who stays are our friends while those who flee are strangers.Catogorize your friends.Are they worth of your time? Are they worth of your attentions? Are they worth of your laughters? Are they worth of your love? Are they worth,of your friendship..? I stand by and for my friends,whether they like it or not,because I appreciate my friendships.But sometimes,things happen..There may be friends who left us,and sometimes it's we who left them.

[Friendship bond]

Inevitable circumstances,I had to leave my friends.Faqihah,Azwa,Sharmeen,Elyana,Irma,Fazer and a whole lot of others.I know that some of them needs me but what can I do..? Especially Faqihah..The one with thousands of burdens on her shoulder,the most problematic one,yet the most loving one..One I treasure the most among many of my friends,whom I considered almost as my own daughter/sister.Our happy memories,when I used to still be able to see her smile and hear her laugh.Now her dark past is coming for her and I just sit here like a sitting fucking shitty duck.I love her.I love them.I love all of my friends,but I couldn't bring myself to forgive me when I couldn't be with them when my presence is most needed.

And so,depends on how you think this through,does bonds really need to be conveyed? Is bond as any same as love? That depends,right?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

26 and still alive. who knew?

  Honestly, it has been a long..LONG time since the last update. Mostly because Twitter has become my new "blog", so to speak, and writing long posts consumes too much of time and energy I no longer have these days. Now that I look back on my old posts about what I thought of Twitter (nothing good, tbh), it's ironic how it replaced this blog even though this place is basically a record of my ongoing life from when I was 13 years old. The cringy posts, the cringe UwU anime talk, the cringe everyfuckingthing, basically. But it was fascinating to re-read my progress of growing up. The way my mind matured, and consequently, my understanding of myself. I'm glad I kept up with this record, so now I can always have something to look at and remember. I'm an English highschool teacher now, for real and legit. Just like I always wanted to be. Sure my mental stability isn't quite there, and my MDD is still co-existing with everything else, but what matters is that I am s
Read more

Healing and re-healing and more fucking healing.

 Here we go again, trying to heal through a variety of childhood traumas. Buckle the fuckle up, I guess. So, my childhood was sprinkled with violence as much as it was surrounded by love. That's what you get when your parents never went to therapy for their traumas and subconsciously fucking up their children as a consequence. The only reason I could find myself forgiving them for their parenting mistakes is because I know they never meant to, and they are aware of what their mistakes caused, and they are actively trying to fix and understand our pain. Not every parent is like them, I am well aware, and I also know that their mistakes are not everything they are to me. There is a huge difference between parents who consciously and knowingly hurt their children and parents who just made mistakes.  For all their mistakes caused my childhood to retain damages, they also tried their best to show me love in the ways they had never been shown by their own parents, and I appreciate that.
Read more

"Toukan Koukan" ; Exchange of equal value

Image
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is the best of the best anime can offer.  I resolutely stand by this statement, even when there are countless of other animes that can teach us many things such as Gosick, Soul Eater, The Children who Chased Lost Voices, Code Geass, Sword Art Online, Tokyo Ghoul, No 6, and many more I could name. The first moment I finished FMAB, it felt like I had gone through a life and came out in tatters. So much truth put in one series. So much life. Especially when it's adorned with death. When has it not? Life and Death goes hand in hand. The one thing I love the most was the First Law of Alchemy, Equivalent Exchange. It is fair, is it not? To give all and take nothing is arguably noble. Modern people would say it's stupid and wasteful. Wise people would know that there is something more at work than the naked eyes. On the other hand, to take all and give nothing is selfish. No arguments. I don't watch these things for entertainme
Read more