past and future.Who knows?

"Past" refers to everything that has been done."Future" refers to everything that is yet to come."Now" refers to everything that is happening at the very moment.What happened in the past?? and what WILL happen in the future??

****

what was the thing you remembered the most about your past?

I silenced myself.Afraid to speak for chances of incorrect informations are inevitably high.
He gave me options.Simple options.

was it happiness? or sadness? or love? or loneliness? or fear?

I thought..If I were to rewind back to my past,or more likely,my childhood...There is nothing to be remembered actually.My childhood was,needless to say...Boring and sorrowful.I don't remember what happened on my birthdays,in fact I don't even remember any of them.I don't remember big love confessions except for some kid sending me love letters nor do I remember being given the unseparable love from my parents.

But I do remember,the days when I see only tears and loud voices.Tears flowed not from my eyes,but on her's.My SISTER.

so beat it.You're saying that you remembered visions of your sister eventhough this is about your childhood.what makes you remember her so much that you can't even remember your own?

My childhood days were petty.Onee-san hated me.We never got along,but I knew what she was facing back then.An undesired separation.At 17,she forced herself to a very painful goodbye.To her friends,not just any friends,her BESTFRIENDS.Friends that had always stood by her side ever since they were 8 until 17,five important persons that she would give away just about anything to be with them...

She was forced to leave their warm sides as to strengthen herself,because she know..The longer she stays with them,the bigger the pain she will feel when the time for each of them to follow each's own path....That's why she decided to leave them first though the time of being away from them would be severely painful..At least,she wouldn't have to experience the pain twice..

What do you see then? What do you feel,when your sister was in agony?


I saw..Water..As in,tears..Lots and lots of tears..And the sound of sobbing..I don't know what I saw back then  was real or not,but it's as if she was surrounded by darkness and the room suddenly appeared to be so..silent,and wide..

Are you nuts? Of course I felt the same agony! Only twice worse than she felt,because I had no courage to approach her nor to comfort her..The feeling of just watching her crying from far,made me felt so utterly helpless and useless...

Then,that would be the end of this conversation.Until we meet again..In your next dream.

What the...!!


****


What a weird dream...Hope that doesn't happen again...-____-||||




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

26 and still alive. who knew?

Healing and re-healing and more fucking healing.

"Toukan Koukan" ; Exchange of equal value