Faqie...Azer...Taskete o...**sobs*sobs**

Agh~~!!!!! Huhuhuhuhu....Sob..Sob..[please forgive this moment of incovenience for the writer is having a serious brain problem.tit.]

I can't take it anymore...I seriously can't take this to further consideration... [note:please imagine the writer as a gloomy dark object hugging her knees to her face at a special place in the room called as "Mr.Corner".]  

Here's the deal - 4 guys.

1:My former childhood classmate whom I already rejected 3 years ago.Done.But the fact that he's informing who has a crush on me and who doesn't is making me a little bit awkward.But still,he's my bestfriend.
2:A classmate.Just confessed three days ago through a simple text message.Half-replied=Half-done.Thou I like him because he has this cute face but his cowardish acts literally pisses me off.
3:Not a classmate but a boy next class.I think I see the hints that shows he's trying to hit on me but I can't bring myself to believe it.Somehow.Thou he is not as cute as the 2nd,but I really love his attitude,he has courage,bravery and a good sense of limits.
4:A guy at SMIP in KB.This one's just a pain cuz he's been harassing Faqie just to have my number.Go die~!!! DDxxx

Azer...If only you were here,then I would not have to worry about anyone having a crush on me because everyone will think of us as a happy non-disturbed couple..And Faqie...If only you were here to kick whoever dares to come near us,just like you used to...My heart feels like it's going to drop from my ribcage.And my lungs feel like it's filled with water,suffocating me each second..I,want to ask them something;the 2nd and 3rd..

If,I asked you to wait for me,just for 2 years..Would you wait until then..? Because,if you waited,and when that time comes,I will have nothing to say other than...YES...

I only wanted someone..To wait for me.. Just to know that someone would be able to endure time,just for me..

Tada..Soredake da..


I'm tired..I have always been the one waiting..Take 'him' for example,I waited 9 years for him..9 years,and even so,he made me suffer,made those 9 years of waiting wasted like rubbish.I regretted so much,wasting 9 years waiting for him..

That's why,I don't want to wait for anyone,anymore..Even though the scar he left has healed,but it is still there.Reminiscing "it's" existence in my core,beating the crap out of it.
私はもう待っているいずれかしたくない..してください..



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

26 and still alive. who knew?

  Honestly, it has been a long..LONG time since the last update. Mostly because Twitter has become my new "blog", so to speak, and writing long posts consumes too much of time and energy I no longer have these days. Now that I look back on my old posts about what I thought of Twitter (nothing good, tbh), it's ironic how it replaced this blog even though this place is basically a record of my ongoing life from when I was 13 years old. The cringy posts, the cringe UwU anime talk, the cringe everyfuckingthing, basically. But it was fascinating to re-read my progress of growing up. The way my mind matured, and consequently, my understanding of myself. I'm glad I kept up with this record, so now I can always have something to look at and remember. I'm an English highschool teacher now, for real and legit. Just like I always wanted to be. Sure my mental stability isn't quite there, and my MDD is still co-existing with everything else, but what matters is that I am s
Read more

Healing and re-healing and more fucking healing.

 Here we go again, trying to heal through a variety of childhood traumas. Buckle the fuckle up, I guess. So, my childhood was sprinkled with violence as much as it was surrounded by love. That's what you get when your parents never went to therapy for their traumas and subconsciously fucking up their children as a consequence. The only reason I could find myself forgiving them for their parenting mistakes is because I know they never meant to, and they are aware of what their mistakes caused, and they are actively trying to fix and understand our pain. Not every parent is like them, I am well aware, and I also know that their mistakes are not everything they are to me. There is a huge difference between parents who consciously and knowingly hurt their children and parents who just made mistakes.  For all their mistakes caused my childhood to retain damages, they also tried their best to show me love in the ways they had never been shown by their own parents, and I appreciate that.
Read more

"Toukan Koukan" ; Exchange of equal value

Image
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is the best of the best anime can offer.  I resolutely stand by this statement, even when there are countless of other animes that can teach us many things such as Gosick, Soul Eater, The Children who Chased Lost Voices, Code Geass, Sword Art Online, Tokyo Ghoul, No 6, and many more I could name. The first moment I finished FMAB, it felt like I had gone through a life and came out in tatters. So much truth put in one series. So much life. Especially when it's adorned with death. When has it not? Life and Death goes hand in hand. The one thing I love the most was the First Law of Alchemy, Equivalent Exchange. It is fair, is it not? To give all and take nothing is arguably noble. Modern people would say it's stupid and wasteful. Wise people would know that there is something more at work than the naked eyes. On the other hand, to take all and give nothing is selfish. No arguments. I don't watch these things for entertainme
Read more