I think I've outdone myself in Weirdness.

I was sick.That's all I'm going to say if people ever point this out.
I'm going to blame this all on my fever no matter what any human say.

 Last night,I think I've outdone myself in embarrassing myself even more to that person.Granted,he'd seen all kinds of embarrassing sides of me but I think this must be the worst.I blame this on the fever.Fully.

I can't say they're lies no matter how much I wished them to be because they're not.They are the truest of truth I've ever spoken out of my brains.
I was scared.
The simple fact was that.
The images have been haunting me for weeks and with my stupid flu setting in,they got worse.They became nightmares.I see them when I close my eyes and I see them still when I blink.
They do.They really do.

 It's horrendously humiliating to admit that at 18 going on 19,I have a monster under my bed.Well,more like at the edge of my bed.
A monster.

 Maybe it's my suppressed childishness since my childhood wasn't really..Childish.I remember a lot of pranks and games and stuff but not monsters.The only 'monster' I deemed worthy of monsterness was my brother.

 Even so,I don't know why I told him.I don't know why he makes me feel this way.Timid and submissive.Honestly,me and those two words were never meant to co-exist.
I am stubborn,hard-headed,annoying,selfish,awkward,rambling,sarcastic,but never timid or submissive.Never in my life since I was born.

I've been submerging myself in werewolf folklore through Teen Wolf these past few days and using them as reference,the only way that makes sense for these feelings is that I consider him like an Alpha.

 God,someone shoot me.

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