LIES.LIES.THEY WERE ALL LIES.

Lies.Lies.Lies.All lies.

 Mom lied to me.Dad's probably the worst.
Blaming me.Blaming me for not working hard enough for the result I got.
When we went to get my result,Mom said it was okay.She was satisfied.Then why tell me I'm not enough NOW? Why tell me I didn't work hard enough NOW?
Liars.

 And the worst thing is,I can't even go to my sister for this.Because why? Because she'd say the same thing.That I'm useless.Worthless.not enough.

 Is it because I didn't show them? Is it because I kept on putting that brave,bold,carelessly easygoing unstressful font? Is it because I hid my humongously growing insecurities and tears when I could barely keep myself together in the middle of the fucking night alone,locked in my room?

 I gave it all I've got.

 Why isn't that good enough for them? I'm not good at improvising.I answered the questions as best as I could even when I've never seen the damn pattern all my 5 years of studying wasted life.I was fucking lucky I've got any A's at all.

 I'm already insecure as fuck.Of fucking course I would never tell them because they will laugh in my face and call it bullshit.It's always me bullshitting.
Especially Onee-san.
I thought we had gone a long way from our sisterhood but apparently,one bullshit result changes all,even family ties.

 Should I just agree to them that I had not cared shit about my studies? Should I just agree to them that I was never good enough and because of that one lone result,I could never be? Should I stop caring?

 I'm not enough.
I'm not good enough.
And apparently,I never will be.

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