9th day note

       
       "It's been 9 days since we started cleaning the house. By now, we'd already restored the 3 living rooms to a somewhat resemblance of what it looked like before.
Only the book racks are missing, so Dad's books had to be put in a movable container for now. We just rigged the TV today, too. Just now Dad opened channel TV3 and M3 popped out.

It was doing a cover on the flood in Kelantan, mostly at the worst sections ; Kuala Krai, Manek Urai, Gua Musang, and others. It seemed unbelievable that these places were listed in my destination line before, in the train. These places are close to my hometown. 
Places I could go with just a bike (if I had the time and money).

I wondered if I was a day later.

Would I have survived without my family beside me? No doubt, I would have tried my damnedest to stay alive with the single thought to come home but the question is : would it be enough?

These strangers couldn't possibly see the damage done. Of course, they feel sympathy, but that's about it, isn't it? Nothing else they can do. Nothing else they can feel.

We lost a lot of things over the flood, but we have our house. Our family.

Yeah, bits of personal belongings here and there, but we are complete. Already we could eat on the table together, laughing over some nonsense Dad spouts.
I imagine it'd be different if I hadn't survived the train fiasco.
They'd be managing my funeral instead.

Every time someone asks about the damage percentage of our household, Mom would always include the two nights she claim to be sleepless because I was out of reach. (My phone died on the train, remember?)
She claim to be content even when we were running for our lives.

Every time she says these, I would look at her amusingly though at the same time fondly, a part of me wondering whether or not it's the truth and another part swells in happiness and giddy contentment.

Watching the damage at K.Krai and Manek Urai on TV, I felt my chest constrict and my throat clogs. Because I could feel their sorrow.
Feel their tortured gaze sweeping over the remains of their house.
As if I were there. Though in retrospect, I was -had been- in their place. "

I forgot to say that soon after we, the passengers of the train stuck in Dabong, Kuala Krai, were picked up by the bus, Dabong had rapidly sunk.

Imagine if we had spend another night on the train. The water was rushing in an unbelievable speed. The train stuck at the train station.
Water surrounding the train, slowly, definitely overflowing the doors.
I could swim, of course, but even then, I was having a fever. And with the current.... Well. You know how it is.

Lots of things could've happened.
But why ponder over them now?

I'd rather have my focus on the now, and place my thoughts for the future.