A Sleepy Weekend
I slept the whole day yesterday, after changing from class till this morning.
I stayed up, finishing a draft for an assignment, and read sterek fanfic until 4 in the morning.
Around 7 something before that, I vaguely remember Amelia(not real name) and Irene(not real name) stopping by my room to pass me some kind of questionnaire. I'm quite glad to have few friends I could rely on.
I really can't help sleeping the day through though and I blame it all on my PMS. Binge-sleeping, I call it. I get sleepy all the time and it's twice's harder to get out of bed when I'm in it.
Amelia tried to pull me off the bed, forcing me to eat something since I've been doing nothing but sleep but I was lucky she didn't have the time for it. Kid's quite hard-crack stubborn when she wants to be.
And reminded me to wake up early at 8 today for her medical check up.
So I successfully woke up at 7.15 today and waited 3 minutes before 8 at the mini market at the entrance door. I was dressed in Dad's unwanted large hash blue collared shirt and black pants. Rather sloppy, I must say.
As Irene, Amelia and her roommate arrived, we called a cab to take us to the Tengku Ampang hospital in Klang. Cost us total of RM30. What a bloodsucker.
We didn't stay long, though.
There was a lot of procedures just to get a simple check-up so Amelia got bored and had her "Fuck it." moment. We shrugged.
So we called another cab to Plaza Alam Sentral for a breakfast.
After we filled our stomach, Irene and I stopped by a dvd store. We lost some time there and by the time we were done browsing, we couldn't find Amelia and her roommate anywhere. We walked around, people beginning to stream through the mall.
Suddenly, my arm was yanked by a salesman, dragging Irene who has our arm linked to a stop. He was promoting some kind of hand cream and as he was about to smear some suspicious white glob on my hand, I pulled my arm back roughly.
I suppose that cleared his mind a bit though he was damn persistent.
He grabbed my elbow and directed me to a saleswoman nearby.
This is where it gets freaky.
The lady grabbed my hand and squished the suspicious white glob on my hand, smearing it everywhere at the back of my palm. I froze the moment her unfamiliar skin touched mine. Irene noticed and tried to yank me back but the saleswoman still had her grip on my elbow. Jeez she must be desperate.
She rubbed my hand roughly, turning the skin quite pink.
I am quite easily bruised, I'm afraid.
She was talking but my attention was more alerted to my pinkening hand.
She put a bundled plastic in my hand and I realized she was pushing the product to me.
I put it away and refused and quite literally, ran away.
We quickly searched for Amelia and her roommate and decided just to wait outside, in case another crazy salesperson grab one of us again.
A few minutes after I arrived safely to my room, I had a minor breakdown.
I have not been forcefully touched since that traumatic night.
It may seem like I'm exaggerating a lot of things but, since you've never been touched against your will before I assure you, you have no room to speak.
I wanted to cut so bad.
There's this loud chanting in my head, telling me that I'll feel a lot better once I cut a few stripes on my arm. The scissors is just lying there, in my locker.
The images of bleeding wounds filled my brain. The familiar feeling when the skin in pierced and the throb as the blood wells up.
"CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT...."
So I did what I always do.
I curl up into myself and cry.
I drew my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around my head, and sobbed. I lay against the wall and stayed like that for who knows how long. I waited until the chanting began to fade while fighting it with a chant of my own.
"This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm..."
As usual, I fell asleep.
And I slept and slept and slept.
I stayed up, finishing a draft for an assignment, and read sterek fanfic until 4 in the morning.
Around 7 something before that, I vaguely remember Amelia(not real name) and Irene(not real name) stopping by my room to pass me some kind of questionnaire. I'm quite glad to have few friends I could rely on.
I really can't help sleeping the day through though and I blame it all on my PMS. Binge-sleeping, I call it. I get sleepy all the time and it's twice's harder to get out of bed when I'm in it.
Amelia tried to pull me off the bed, forcing me to eat something since I've been doing nothing but sleep but I was lucky she didn't have the time for it. Kid's quite hard-crack stubborn when she wants to be.
And reminded me to wake up early at 8 today for her medical check up.
So I successfully woke up at 7.15 today and waited 3 minutes before 8 at the mini market at the entrance door. I was dressed in Dad's unwanted large hash blue collared shirt and black pants. Rather sloppy, I must say.
As Irene, Amelia and her roommate arrived, we called a cab to take us to the Tengku Ampang hospital in Klang. Cost us total of RM30. What a bloodsucker.
We didn't stay long, though.
There was a lot of procedures just to get a simple check-up so Amelia got bored and had her "Fuck it." moment. We shrugged.
So we called another cab to Plaza Alam Sentral for a breakfast.
After we filled our stomach, Irene and I stopped by a dvd store. We lost some time there and by the time we were done browsing, we couldn't find Amelia and her roommate anywhere. We walked around, people beginning to stream through the mall.
Suddenly, my arm was yanked by a salesman, dragging Irene who has our arm linked to a stop. He was promoting some kind of hand cream and as he was about to smear some suspicious white glob on my hand, I pulled my arm back roughly.
I suppose that cleared his mind a bit though he was damn persistent.
He grabbed my elbow and directed me to a saleswoman nearby.
This is where it gets freaky.
The lady grabbed my hand and squished the suspicious white glob on my hand, smearing it everywhere at the back of my palm. I froze the moment her unfamiliar skin touched mine. Irene noticed and tried to yank me back but the saleswoman still had her grip on my elbow. Jeez she must be desperate.
She rubbed my hand roughly, turning the skin quite pink.
I am quite easily bruised, I'm afraid.
She was talking but my attention was more alerted to my pinkening hand.
She put a bundled plastic in my hand and I realized she was pushing the product to me.
I put it away and refused and quite literally, ran away.
We quickly searched for Amelia and her roommate and decided just to wait outside, in case another crazy salesperson grab one of us again.
A few minutes after I arrived safely to my room, I had a minor breakdown.
I have not been forcefully touched since that traumatic night.
It may seem like I'm exaggerating a lot of things but, since you've never been touched against your will before I assure you, you have no room to speak.
I wanted to cut so bad.
There's this loud chanting in my head, telling me that I'll feel a lot better once I cut a few stripes on my arm. The scissors is just lying there, in my locker.
The images of bleeding wounds filled my brain. The familiar feeling when the skin in pierced and the throb as the blood wells up.
"CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT,CUT...."
So I did what I always do.
I curl up into myself and cry.
I drew my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around my head, and sobbed. I lay against the wall and stayed like that for who knows how long. I waited until the chanting began to fade while fighting it with a chant of my own.
"This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm.This body is not mine to harm..."
As usual, I fell asleep.
And I slept and slept and slept.
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